1 00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,610 [GUITAR PLAYING] 2 00:00:45,562 --> 00:00:49,555 GIRL [SINGING]: Forget me, you're on your way 3 00:00:49,733 --> 00:00:54,033 We don't have to stay in touch 4 00:00:54,204 --> 00:00:58,197 We may remember someday 5 00:00:58,374 --> 00:01:04,404 Till then it doesn't matter that much 6 00:01:06,549 --> 00:01:10,679 Someday I'll have to wonder 7 00:01:10,854 --> 00:01:14,790 And dreams may cloud the truth 8 00:01:14,958 --> 00:01:18,985 But if you promise me 9 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:23,189 I promise I'll never forget you 10 00:01:23,366 --> 00:01:27,359 Forget the tears we cried 11 00:01:27,537 --> 00:01:31,667 Forget the good times too 12 00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:35,641 Forget the pain inside 13 00:01:35,812 --> 00:01:37,677 RICH: You will never see her again. 14 00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,178 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 15 00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:44,747 Dude, after graduation, she'll be gone until like the tenth reunion... 16 00:01:44,921 --> 00:01:46,548 if you both even live that long. 17 00:01:46,723 --> 00:01:51,660 And she'll be so very pregnant by then, baking someone else's DNA. 18 00:01:51,828 --> 00:01:55,025 And she'll have this, like, big, pregnant cow grin on her face. 19 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,859 She won't even remember who you are. 20 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:59,092 Well, I sat behind her in almost every class. 21 00:01:59,269 --> 00:02:01,362 -Behind her. -Shh. 22 00:02:02,472 --> 00:02:04,337 Behind her. She never saw you, dude. 23 00:02:04,507 --> 00:02:09,843 You don't give this big speech at graduation, you don't exist. 24 00:02:10,013 --> 00:02:14,382 No, Denis, if you-- If you don't do this.... If you don't do this.... 25 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,041 [AS HUMPHREY BOGART] "You'll regret it. 26 00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:18,084 Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon... 27 00:02:18,254 --> 00:02:20,381 and for the rest of your life." 28 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,218 What are you talking about? 29 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,383 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Come on, it's Casablanca, 1942... 30 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,823 Michael Curtiz, director. 31 00:02:25,995 --> 00:02:27,462 -Bogart, dude! LIBRARIAN: Shh. 32 00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:29,097 Seriously? 33 00:02:29,632 --> 00:02:30,963 [WHISPERING] Bogart. 34 00:02:34,003 --> 00:02:35,994 [GUITAR PLAYING] 35 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:46,408 Thank you, Angelica. 36 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:49,074 It's Angelica. Whatever. 37 00:02:49,886 --> 00:02:50,910 Angelica. 38 00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:56,150 Thank you for that rousing rendition of " Forget Me." 39 00:02:56,759 --> 00:03:01,526 Next, and finally, your valedictorian... 40 00:03:01,698 --> 00:03:02,960 Denis Cooverman. 41 00:03:14,978 --> 00:03:16,309 [CLEARS THROAT] 42 00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:23,678 Today we look forward. 43 00:03:24,354 --> 00:03:28,256 Look forward to getting out of here. 44 00:03:28,424 --> 00:03:30,415 [CHUCKLING] 45 00:03:30,693 --> 00:03:32,126 Heh, heh, heh. 46 00:03:33,997 --> 00:03:38,991 But today, I would also like to look back... 47 00:03:39,168 --> 00:03:44,435 look back on our 4 years here at Buffalo Glenn High School... 48 00:03:44,607 --> 00:03:48,338 looking back not with anger... 49 00:03:48,511 --> 00:03:52,277 but with no regrets. 50 00:03:53,950 --> 00:03:58,319 No regrets for what we wanted to do... 51 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,388 but did not... 52 00:04:00,556 --> 00:04:04,424 what we wanted to say... 53 00:04:04,594 --> 00:04:07,927 but could not. 54 00:04:11,768 --> 00:04:15,329 And so I say here today... 55 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:18,531 the one thing I wish I had said... 56 00:04:18,708 --> 00:04:24,908 the one thing I know I will regret if I never say: 57 00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:29,418 I love you, Beth Cooper. 58 00:04:29,819 --> 00:04:31,810 [STUDENTS MURMURING INDISTINCTLY] 59 00:04:41,564 --> 00:04:42,963 [WHISPERING] He likes you. 60 00:04:43,132 --> 00:04:46,431 I have loved you, Beth Cooper... 61 00:04:46,602 --> 00:04:52,598 since I first sat behind you in Ms. Rosa's math class in the 7th grade. 62 00:04:52,909 --> 00:04:53,933 Heh. 63 00:04:54,110 --> 00:04:58,979 I loved you when I sat behind you in Se�or Weidner's Spanish... 64 00:04:59,148 --> 00:05:03,141 and Ms. Calumet-Hobey's Literature of the Oppressed. 65 00:05:03,319 --> 00:05:05,219 I loved you from behind... 66 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,582 [PEOPLE GROAN] 67 00:05:06,756 --> 00:05:13,286 in Biology, History, and, yes, Practical Science. 68 00:05:13,463 --> 00:05:18,765 I loved you, but I never told you because we never spoke. 69 00:05:18,935 --> 00:05:20,129 Unbelievable. 70 00:05:20,303 --> 00:05:24,763 But now I say it, with no regrets. 71 00:05:25,341 --> 00:05:30,802 I love you, Beth Cooper. 72 00:05:31,514 --> 00:05:37,009 And so let us all say the things that we longed to say... 73 00:05:37,186 --> 00:05:39,882 but our tongues would not. 74 00:05:40,056 --> 00:05:42,786 Let us be unafraid to admit: 75 00:05:42,959 --> 00:05:48,022 " I have an eating disorder, and I need help." 76 00:05:48,197 --> 00:05:50,722 Let us confess: 77 00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:53,562 " I'm a stuck-up bitch... 78 00:05:53,736 --> 00:05:59,265 because deep down, I believe I am worthless." 79 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,433 Let us declare: 80 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:05,707 " I'm a big, dumb moron. 81 00:06:05,882 --> 00:06:11,343 I'm a big old asshole who beats up on other kids... 82 00:06:11,521 --> 00:06:17,118 because I was unloved as a baby... 83 00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:20,524 or was sexually abused or something. 84 00:06:20,696 --> 00:06:23,893 I am sorry for the cruel swirlies... 85 00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:25,466 the pink bellies... 86 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,694 the purple nurples." 87 00:06:28,337 --> 00:06:34,901 And let us, no, let all of us vow: 88 00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:40,374 "When I graduate, I'm not gonna keep hanging around my old high school... 89 00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:42,745 like some kind of creepy loser... 90 00:06:42,919 --> 00:06:45,217 who can't get an adult girlfriend." 91 00:06:45,388 --> 00:06:48,653 You know who you are. You. 92 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,656 [PEOPLE MURMURING INDISTINCTLY] 93 00:06:52,295 --> 00:06:57,460 And, yes, let us not regret... 94 00:06:57,633 --> 00:07:02,366 that we never told our own best friend: 95 00:07:05,608 --> 00:07:08,270 " I'm gay, dude. 96 00:07:08,444 --> 00:07:10,571 I'm totally gay." 97 00:07:10,746 --> 00:07:11,838 [MOUTHING] I'm not gay. 98 00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,845 DENIS: Yes. 99 00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:16,007 Indeed. Let us all-- 100 00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:17,743 Thank you, Denis. 101 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:21,014 Food for thought. Thank you. 102 00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,082 Thank you. 103 00:07:25,895 --> 00:07:27,089 Wow. 104 00:07:33,436 --> 00:07:33,536 [CHATTERING] 105 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:35,436 [CHATTERING] 106 00:07:40,309 --> 00:07:41,799 MAN: Perfect. 107 00:07:42,345 --> 00:07:43,437 -Whoa. -Oh. 108 00:07:43,613 --> 00:07:45,478 -It's okay. -Sorry. 109 00:07:46,616 --> 00:07:48,675 -Sorry. MAN: All right. 110 00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:03,564 -Mr. Cooverman, hi. -Hey! Hello. 111 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,860 I've never known you to do anything so reckless... 112 00:08:06,035 --> 00:08:07,059 really at all reckless. 113 00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:08,635 Well, thank you. 114 00:08:08,804 --> 00:08:10,829 Uh, no. That is not what I would expect... 115 00:08:11,007 --> 00:08:13,339 from somebody who is going to Stanford. 116 00:08:13,509 --> 00:08:14,635 You know one call from me... 117 00:08:14,810 --> 00:08:17,278 and you could be going to Harper Community College. 118 00:08:17,446 --> 00:08:19,880 That would be unimaginable. You can't-- 119 00:08:20,049 --> 00:08:22,745 Look, I don't know why I did th-- Who was that? 120 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,547 That wasn't me. I was under an influence. 121 00:08:25,721 --> 00:08:27,279 -Are you drunk? -What? 122 00:08:28,057 --> 00:08:32,016 I just meant my thinking had been compromised. 123 00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:36,530 -Look, Rich told me if.... -Rich Munsch? 124 00:08:36,699 --> 00:08:37,757 Yeah. 125 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:42,496 I wouldn't take heterosexual advice from Rich Munsch. 126 00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:44,705 But he was right. 127 00:08:44,874 --> 00:08:47,968 I mean, I had to do something. 128 00:08:48,578 --> 00:08:53,606 I'm not there in her brain. She will have no memory of me. 129 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:54,807 So? 130 00:08:54,984 --> 00:09:00,047 So? Come on, Dr. Gleason, haven't you ever been in love? 131 00:09:15,104 --> 00:09:17,095 [BOTH MOANING] 132 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:28,447 MAN: Your nipples are so weird. 133 00:09:35,524 --> 00:09:39,858 Denis, there's another Beth Cooper out there. 134 00:09:40,529 --> 00:09:42,019 One just for you. 135 00:09:59,415 --> 00:10:01,178 You embarrassed me. 136 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:03,682 Uh.... 137 00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:07,186 But it was so sweet, I'll have to let you live. 138 00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:08,380 [SIGHS] 139 00:10:08,557 --> 00:10:13,051 Well, that's good. Because I like to live. 140 00:10:13,229 --> 00:10:16,221 Is it like 800 degrees in there, like boiling? 141 00:10:16,399 --> 00:10:22,497 Actually, the boiling point of water is 212 degrees Fahrenheit... 142 00:10:23,506 --> 00:10:25,770 100 degrees Celsius. 143 00:10:25,941 --> 00:10:28,205 I am so hot. 144 00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:30,470 I can imagine... 145 00:10:30,646 --> 00:10:32,705 that you're hot. 146 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:36,147 Hey. So I'm not gay, dude. 147 00:10:36,319 --> 00:10:38,981 Rich, hi. 148 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,358 Hello, hi, hey. Hi. 149 00:10:43,526 --> 00:10:46,427 I didn't realize there was a line here. 150 00:10:46,595 --> 00:10:48,460 No, no, that's okay. I gotta go. 151 00:10:48,631 --> 00:10:51,725 Halt! I mean, wait. 152 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,301 There's a little soir�e at my house tonight. 153 00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:55,494 Course that's redundant... 154 00:10:55,671 --> 00:10:57,332 I don't know what I'm talking about. 155 00:10:57,506 --> 00:11:01,840 No, a party. More of a party than a French thing. Music, drinks, prizes. 156 00:11:02,011 --> 00:11:03,239 Party. 157 00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:06,506 -Sounds fun. -It is fun, will be, in the future. 158 00:11:06,682 --> 00:11:09,378 And goddamn it, you're invited, officially. 159 00:11:09,552 --> 00:11:11,042 Wow. 160 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:12,344 Thanks. 161 00:11:12,521 --> 00:11:14,182 6337 Hackberry Drive... 162 00:11:14,357 --> 00:11:17,383 ZIP's 98401, if you're Mapquesting. 163 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:18,959 Well, maybe we could stop by. 164 00:11:19,128 --> 00:11:20,254 Cool, or not, whatever. 165 00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:23,159 I mean, you come, you come. If you don't, you don't. 166 00:11:23,399 --> 00:11:27,529 You humiliated me and insulted her. 167 00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:30,001 Are you prepared to die? 168 00:11:30,406 --> 00:11:32,533 [MOUTHING] Sorry. 169 00:11:32,842 --> 00:11:33,866 [GROANING] 170 00:11:34,043 --> 00:11:36,443 You must be Beth Cooper's boyfriend. 171 00:11:37,847 --> 00:11:39,838 I have to go to the bathroom. 172 00:11:41,083 --> 00:11:42,414 Um.... 173 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:45,443 [GRUNTING] 174 00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:52,460 I'm gonna give you 10 seconds to convince me why I should let you live. 175 00:11:53,262 --> 00:11:56,561 I think you mean "persuade," not "convince." 176 00:11:56,732 --> 00:11:58,029 Is there a problem here? 177 00:12:07,410 --> 00:12:09,105 No, ma'am. 178 00:12:10,246 --> 00:12:12,407 My hand, it just slipped. 179 00:12:12,848 --> 00:12:17,080 You know I can't allow you to kill him on school property? 180 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:18,646 Yes, ma'am. 181 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:19,845 [GASPING] 182 00:12:20,222 --> 00:12:22,349 BETH: Baby. Not nice. 183 00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:29,425 -You okay? -Great, yeah. 184 00:12:29,598 --> 00:12:33,364 Okay. You know, on the bright side, Beth Cooper talked to you. 185 00:12:33,869 --> 00:12:36,099 GIRL 1: Whoo! GIRL 2: Let's go! 186 00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:40,072 GIRL 3: School's out! We did it! We did it! Party! 187 00:12:40,242 --> 00:12:42,676 Ooh. That can't be good. 188 00:12:43,712 --> 00:12:45,703 [VALLI SHRIEKING] 189 00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:49,174 MAN: Losers! 190 00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:51,319 All right, keep in touch. 191 00:12:51,487 --> 00:12:56,424 So, look, I'm not gay, you know, so.... Yeah. 192 00:12:56,592 --> 00:12:58,059 Okay, yeah. 193 00:12:58,227 --> 00:13:01,628 No, I mean, it's cool if you are, too, really. 194 00:13:01,797 --> 00:13:04,595 Really, I'm not. No soy homo. 195 00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:06,325 All right. That's awesome. 196 00:13:06,502 --> 00:13:08,094 What makes you think I'm gay? 197 00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:09,598 [CHUCKLES] 198 00:13:09,772 --> 00:13:12,104 I don't know-- Everybody thinks you're gay, Rich. 199 00:13:12,274 --> 00:13:13,741 Well, they don't know me. You know me. 200 00:13:13,909 --> 00:13:16,036 What makes you think I'm gay? 201 00:13:18,948 --> 00:13:20,939 [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON TV] 202 00:13:32,127 --> 00:13:34,220 Okay, I got an idea. 203 00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:36,660 I'm Robin Hood. You're Friar Tuck. 204 00:13:36,832 --> 00:13:39,960 We get your dad's camcorder and we do a shot-for-shot re-creation... 205 00:13:40,135 --> 00:13:42,729 of their climactic sword fight... 206 00:13:43,706 --> 00:13:45,731 using our boners. Ha. 207 00:13:54,817 --> 00:13:57,809 Nothing in particular, I guess. 208 00:13:57,987 --> 00:13:59,887 Well, I mean, is it because of Drama Club? 209 00:14:00,055 --> 00:14:03,024 Because, you know, a lot of professional actors aren't gay. 210 00:14:03,192 --> 00:14:04,557 More than half. 211 00:14:04,727 --> 00:14:09,460 Rich, it's just that all through high school and even before... 212 00:14:09,632 --> 00:14:13,466 you never really had a girlfriend. 213 00:14:13,636 --> 00:14:15,797 -Neither did you. -I tried. 214 00:14:15,971 --> 00:14:17,632 Oh, ha, ha, ha. Patty Keck? 215 00:14:17,806 --> 00:14:20,070 -Her, yes. -Your secret shame. 216 00:14:20,242 --> 00:14:23,370 My point is...I had one. 217 00:14:23,546 --> 00:14:25,605 Just so you know, making out with a girl like that... 218 00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,510 I'm not sure that's not gay. 219 00:14:27,683 --> 00:14:29,514 [LAUGHS] 220 00:14:31,654 --> 00:14:34,589 What is this? Give me it. Let go of it. I wanna see. 221 00:14:35,190 --> 00:14:36,521 -No. -Wow. 222 00:14:36,859 --> 00:14:37,883 Whatever. 223 00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:40,221 -That's awesome. iPod. -It's silly. 224 00:14:40,396 --> 00:14:42,364 No, that's really nice. That's great. 225 00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:44,328 Yeah, my mom and dad gave it.... 226 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,166 Dude, you know what I got for graduation? 227 00:14:47,336 --> 00:14:49,429 -No. -A bill. 228 00:14:49,605 --> 00:14:53,803 Yeah, my dad says I owe him 233,850 bucks. 229 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:55,637 A quarter of a million dollars? 230 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:59,076 And then they expect you to buy your own shoes. 231 00:14:59,248 --> 00:15:02,911 Yeah. Well, no, that includes 50 grand for "wear and tear" on my mother. 232 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:07,179 She is pretty worn and torn, you know. 233 00:15:07,356 --> 00:15:08,846 Yeah. 234 00:15:09,792 --> 00:15:14,729 Well, in any case, I'm sorry your dad's such a dick. 235 00:15:14,897 --> 00:15:18,765 And it was completely itemized, very detailed. 236 00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,530 Who knew he was paying attention? 237 00:15:34,650 --> 00:15:36,641 Hey-o. 238 00:15:37,319 --> 00:15:39,048 -Check out the new kicks. -Oh, cool. 239 00:15:39,221 --> 00:15:44,318 2 paychecks. Very Gene Kelly, circa 1945, don't you think? 240 00:15:44,493 --> 00:15:45,926 -Yeah. They're nice. -Dude. 241 00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:47,528 Don't be so nervous. She's not gonna come. 242 00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:50,688 I'm not nervous, I'm particular. There's a difference. 243 00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,197 You know what, they can smell fear. 244 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,996 -No, they can't. -I can smell it. 245 00:15:56,672 --> 00:15:57,696 -Ooh. -Ooh. 246 00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,170 -Fear. -Mm. 247 00:15:59,341 --> 00:16:02,504 You know, puberty has done nothing but screw me. 248 00:16:02,678 --> 00:16:03,872 Dude, what are you doing? 249 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,707 I'm airing out my shirt. 250 00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:06,905 -What? -Come on. 251 00:16:07,082 --> 00:16:08,344 I don't want a stinky shirt. 252 00:16:08,517 --> 00:16:10,712 Dude. Ha, ha, ha. 253 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:12,979 DENIS: Why are you laughing? This is how you do this. 254 00:16:14,590 --> 00:16:16,717 Hey. Mom, Dad. 255 00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,792 Well, it looks like this party's well underway. 256 00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:20,223 Hola, Mrs. C. 257 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,863 Rich, don't call me Mrs. C, I mean it. 258 00:16:22,031 --> 00:16:24,625 Now get off the counter. Oh. 259 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,631 Denis Petey Cooverman, look at you. 260 00:16:26,802 --> 00:16:28,099 You look so cute. 261 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,504 Super cute. 262 00:16:30,673 --> 00:16:31,697 She doesn't mean that. 263 00:16:31,874 --> 00:16:33,102 You look good. You look cool. 264 00:16:33,275 --> 00:16:34,299 Yeah. 265 00:16:34,476 --> 00:16:38,173 You just might want to lower the waist of those pants a little bit. 266 00:16:38,347 --> 00:16:40,747 Oh, you're not wearing those awful underpants. 267 00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:42,042 DENIS: Mom. God. 268 00:16:42,217 --> 00:16:44,082 MR. COOVERMAN: I gotta go along with your mom... 269 00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:46,585 ...on the lucky underpants, buddy. What if you do get lucky? 270 00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,916 Once she gets to the underpants, they're a deal breaker. 271 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,820 RICH: They are not nice underpants. 272 00:16:50,993 --> 00:16:53,655 He is not wearing those ratty things, and he's not getting lucky. 273 00:16:53,829 --> 00:16:56,195 Not on my watch. 274 00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:00,669 So, how many people are you expecting at this shin-dizzle? 275 00:17:00,836 --> 00:17:03,134 -Oh, not too many. -None. 276 00:17:03,305 --> 00:17:06,866 Well, it wouldn't be a celebration without champagne. 277 00:17:07,042 --> 00:17:10,102 -Oh. -Oh, ho, ho. That is negligent. 278 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,076 My dad used to give me an occasional beer... 279 00:17:12,247 --> 00:17:14,340 but that was just to get me to take a nap. 280 00:17:15,217 --> 00:17:18,277 Well, one glass per guest. And no one who drinks, drives. 281 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:21,321 And I know exactly how many bottles are in the wine rack: 23. 282 00:17:21,857 --> 00:17:23,347 Here's all of our numbers. If an-- 283 00:17:23,525 --> 00:17:26,187 If anybody's dead or on fire, call 911 first. 284 00:17:26,361 --> 00:17:27,658 [CHUCKLING] 285 00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:29,457 What's the matter? Bad advice? 286 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:32,122 I have to get my purse. I'll meet you out front. 287 00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,132 -Honey, have fun. DENIS: Okay. 288 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,395 Not too much fun. 289 00:17:35,571 --> 00:17:38,131 Not much danger of that, Mrs. C. 290 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,138 -Bye, Mom! -Bye, honey. 291 00:17:40,776 --> 00:17:42,903 Denis, let me talk to you. 292 00:17:47,216 --> 00:17:51,448 Okay, look. This is your last summer before college. 293 00:17:51,620 --> 00:17:53,247 That accelerated medical program... 294 00:17:53,422 --> 00:17:55,287 isn't gonna leave time for parties... 295 00:17:55,457 --> 00:17:57,516 so I want you to enjoy this summer. 296 00:17:57,693 --> 00:17:59,217 Okay, yeah, sure, no, I'll try. 297 00:17:59,394 --> 00:18:00,486 Get out there! 298 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:03,597 Do all those teen things you haven't had a chance to do. 299 00:18:03,766 --> 00:18:05,893 That's gonna be hard. He hasn't done any of them. 300 00:18:06,268 --> 00:18:10,329 You know, this whole teenager coming-of-age thing, I mean... 301 00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,872 it's a relatively new construct. 302 00:18:13,041 --> 00:18:15,407 They came up with it in the '50s, so.... 303 00:18:15,577 --> 00:18:17,943 It's okay just to have fun sometimes. 304 00:18:18,113 --> 00:18:21,412 Sometimes you just have to say, "What the F." 305 00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:24,245 Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983, Paul Brickman. 306 00:18:24,419 --> 00:18:29,118 Except he didn't say " F," he said " Fuck." 307 00:18:29,825 --> 00:18:31,258 [CHUCKLES] 308 00:18:31,493 --> 00:18:34,360 You know what I mean. Carpe diem. 309 00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:37,897 RICH: I didn't know you were such a movie buff, Mr. C. 310 00:18:38,066 --> 00:18:39,727 Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society. 311 00:18:39,902 --> 00:18:44,430 Yes, thank you. Thank you, Rich. We know. It's good. 312 00:18:44,606 --> 00:18:46,267 Come here, please. 313 00:18:51,013 --> 00:18:55,712 There are condoms in my bedside table. 314 00:18:58,287 --> 00:19:01,814 Do you, like, know exactly how many there are? 315 00:19:02,991 --> 00:19:06,950 They are not toys. 316 00:19:09,298 --> 00:19:11,459 -Yeah. -Sure. 317 00:19:16,205 --> 00:19:19,174 I think my dad wants us to have sex. 318 00:19:19,842 --> 00:19:21,537 -With each other? -No. 319 00:19:21,710 --> 00:19:22,768 Right. 320 00:19:22,945 --> 00:19:26,142 She should really be here by now. 321 00:19:26,782 --> 00:19:28,511 So your parents use condoms? 322 00:19:28,684 --> 00:19:30,914 Not a topic for discussion. Ever. 323 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,485 Okay. No, it's okay. I won't. 324 00:19:32,654 --> 00:19:35,350 I just, yeah, I mean, what, do you think they're lubed? Or.... 325 00:19:35,524 --> 00:19:36,957 Incoming! 326 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,157 Go, go, go! 327 00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:13,994 It's the trinity. 328 00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,632 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 329 00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:23,369 So where's our boy in uniform? 330 00:20:23,538 --> 00:20:24,664 He's on our shit list. 331 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,536 One of his army buddies was getting all date-rapey with Treece. 332 00:20:27,709 --> 00:20:28,767 -Oh. -Oh. 333 00:20:28,944 --> 00:20:30,912 So, where's the party? 334 00:20:31,079 --> 00:20:34,378 This is it. Here, this location. 335 00:20:34,549 --> 00:20:35,914 Welcome. 336 00:20:36,084 --> 00:20:38,245 Come on in. 337 00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:42,823 Warning, roof may be blown off due to excessive partying. 338 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:46,389 Well, go ahead, princess. 339 00:20:46,728 --> 00:20:48,855 Come on up. Yeah. 340 00:20:49,031 --> 00:20:50,328 Watch your step. 341 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:54,162 Now entering the party pod, captain. 342 00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:57,335 Um.... 343 00:20:58,073 --> 00:20:59,506 Are we the first ones here? 344 00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:02,803 Yeah, we are never first. 345 00:21:02,978 --> 00:21:04,843 I've never been in this house before. 346 00:21:05,647 --> 00:21:09,481 La fiesta es this way, mi bonitas. 347 00:21:10,619 --> 00:21:15,488 Por favor, sweet and salty comida for your comesting. 348 00:21:15,657 --> 00:21:19,889 Everything's organic. The pretzels are fat free. 349 00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:21,719 Are you calling me fat? 350 00:21:22,164 --> 00:21:23,290 What? 351 00:21:23,465 --> 00:21:24,955 No. Not-- No. 352 00:21:27,069 --> 00:21:31,028 Hey, come on, you, fat? Why would he say that? He's not retarded. 353 00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:33,037 My brother's retarded. 354 00:21:37,346 --> 00:21:39,337 [CHUCKLING] 355 00:21:39,514 --> 00:21:41,243 [SIGHING] 356 00:21:41,416 --> 00:21:43,475 RICH: That's-- That was-- That's cold. 357 00:21:43,652 --> 00:21:45,415 You probably don't even have a brother. 358 00:21:45,587 --> 00:21:47,316 No, he, uh-- He died. 359 00:21:47,489 --> 00:21:49,457 [LAUGHING] 360 00:21:49,624 --> 00:21:53,355 Yeah, that was really-- You got me, that was.... 361 00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:05,338 I'm so sorry. 362 00:22:08,543 --> 00:22:10,511 It was a long time ago, but thanks. 363 00:22:12,381 --> 00:22:14,144 Yeah. 364 00:22:14,850 --> 00:22:16,841 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 365 00:22:20,322 --> 00:22:22,483 What do you want, Kevin? 366 00:22:22,657 --> 00:22:23,749 I need beer. 367 00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:26,155 Heh, heh. Yeah, you do. Uh.... 368 00:22:27,062 --> 00:22:29,792 Donde esta la beer, Coovemaster? 369 00:22:29,965 --> 00:22:31,330 My dad doesn't drink beer. 370 00:22:33,668 --> 00:22:35,568 We have champagne. 371 00:22:35,737 --> 00:22:38,706 Ooh. Okay. 372 00:22:39,374 --> 00:22:42,775 Champagne. Bubbly goodness. Uh.... 373 00:22:43,345 --> 00:22:48,146 This is Cristal. It's the drink of the pimps. 374 00:22:48,316 --> 00:22:50,580 -"The pimps? " -Mm-hm. 375 00:22:50,752 --> 00:22:52,982 What do you know about pimps? 376 00:22:54,589 --> 00:22:56,989 Nothing, really. 377 00:22:57,893 --> 00:23:01,761 Mm. Cristal seems to have changed its logo and spelling. 378 00:23:01,930 --> 00:23:05,388 Champagne makes me do...things. 379 00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:08,633 Girl, water makes you do things. 380 00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:11,204 Not regular water. 381 00:23:11,373 --> 00:23:15,810 Ha, ha. Oh, yeah, okay. I, uh.... 382 00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:30,014 Classic. 383 00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:32,691 BETH: I told you. 384 00:23:33,061 --> 00:23:34,551 No, I don't. 385 00:23:34,729 --> 00:23:38,893 No! No, you can't come here. 386 00:23:40,235 --> 00:23:42,100 Yeah, well.... 387 00:23:43,271 --> 00:23:44,898 Maybe. 388 00:23:45,073 --> 00:23:46,836 I'm busy right now, Kevin. 389 00:23:47,008 --> 00:23:48,373 I want some of that. 390 00:23:48,543 --> 00:23:51,876 No, I will not tell you where I am or who I'm with... 391 00:23:52,047 --> 00:23:57,041 but I will tell you this, Kevin, I'm drinking champagne. 392 00:23:57,219 --> 00:23:59,244 Yep. And it is coming right.... 393 00:23:59,421 --> 00:24:03,482 Aah! Oh. God. Oh. 394 00:24:03,658 --> 00:24:05,250 It's okay. Oh. 395 00:24:07,062 --> 00:24:09,121 BETH: Oh, nothing. DENIS: Yeah. 396 00:24:09,764 --> 00:24:10,924 Pfft. Heh. 397 00:24:14,936 --> 00:24:17,302 I'll get this off here. 398 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:19,964 Would you hurry up? 399 00:24:20,142 --> 00:24:22,167 Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just.... 400 00:24:22,344 --> 00:24:25,313 The internal pressure is 90 pounds per square inch... 401 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:27,072 so I don't really know what the problem.... 402 00:24:27,249 --> 00:24:31,652 Don't you dare GPS me. Oh, please. 403 00:24:32,254 --> 00:24:34,245 [GRUNTING] 404 00:24:35,223 --> 00:24:37,214 [LAUGHING] 405 00:24:37,459 --> 00:24:40,087 -Are you okay? DENIS: Yeah, I'm great. 406 00:24:40,262 --> 00:24:41,729 I need ice! 407 00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:44,661 Okay, let's see. 408 00:24:45,834 --> 00:24:47,597 Frozen peas. 409 00:24:47,769 --> 00:24:50,397 Really? Okay. 410 00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:54,072 And frozen peas. 411 00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:56,472 Frozen peas. Frozen peas. 412 00:24:56,645 --> 00:24:58,010 Anything cold. 413 00:24:58,647 --> 00:25:01,844 Okay, here. Something cold. 414 00:25:02,884 --> 00:25:03,976 Here, come here. 415 00:25:04,653 --> 00:25:06,518 Okay, here we go. 416 00:25:06,688 --> 00:25:10,590 I'm sorry I'm so pathetic. 417 00:25:10,759 --> 00:25:11,953 Let me tell you something: 418 00:25:12,127 --> 00:25:14,493 All boys are pathetic. 419 00:25:14,663 --> 00:25:17,325 Well, then I apologize on behalf of all boys. 420 00:25:17,499 --> 00:25:20,957 And sorry for all the wars and stuff. 421 00:25:21,870 --> 00:25:23,565 You're funny. 422 00:25:25,941 --> 00:25:27,272 How does that feel? 423 00:25:27,442 --> 00:25:28,773 [MOANS] 424 00:25:35,083 --> 00:25:36,914 Pretty good, I guess. 425 00:25:41,223 --> 00:25:43,214 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY AND LAUGHING] 426 00:25:43,391 --> 00:25:45,382 [GRUNTING] 427 00:25:55,003 --> 00:25:57,096 Did you hurt your back? 428 00:25:58,840 --> 00:25:59,864 Oh. Hee, hee. 429 00:26:00,242 --> 00:26:02,710 Yeah, I hurt my back. 430 00:26:03,044 --> 00:26:04,534 Ah. Ooh! 431 00:26:04,713 --> 00:26:06,704 [STAMMERING] 432 00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:08,376 Party balloons. 433 00:26:08,550 --> 00:26:11,041 -Those aren't party balloons. -I know what they are. 434 00:26:11,219 --> 00:26:13,278 So, is this what you had planned for tonight? 435 00:26:13,455 --> 00:26:14,752 No, those are my dad's. 436 00:26:14,923 --> 00:26:17,187 Your dad's not hiding in the closet or something? 437 00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,520 Oh, I hate that. 438 00:26:23,265 --> 00:26:24,289 This was fun. 439 00:26:24,466 --> 00:26:28,562 DENIS: No, come on. Stick around. Okay, no, you can't go. 440 00:26:28,737 --> 00:26:29,795 No, wait, wait, wait. 441 00:26:29,971 --> 00:26:32,667 I mean, we've still got wine to drink. 23 bottles. 442 00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:35,071 Oh, wine reminds me of Jesus. 443 00:26:35,243 --> 00:26:37,108 You know what, Denis, we really do have to go. 444 00:26:37,279 --> 00:26:39,247 This was a great party, though. 445 00:26:44,519 --> 00:26:47,647 [WAGNER'S " RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES" PLAYS ON SPEAKERS] 446 00:26:52,027 --> 00:26:53,756 Oh, shit, Kevin. 447 00:26:53,928 --> 00:26:55,657 He triangulated your cell phone. 448 00:26:55,830 --> 00:26:57,661 [GIGGLING] 449 00:26:57,832 --> 00:26:59,299 [GASPS] 450 00:26:59,467 --> 00:27:01,435 We're gonna need more waffles. 451 00:27:13,815 --> 00:27:16,079 Sean, you naughty boy. 452 00:27:18,453 --> 00:27:19,818 No, no, no, no. 453 00:27:22,624 --> 00:27:24,922 -Nobody move. -Why? 454 00:27:25,093 --> 00:27:27,653 Because he is going to kill me. 455 00:27:28,229 --> 00:27:30,459 The most he's gonna do is beat you up a little. 456 00:27:30,632 --> 00:27:33,465 Lisbee! Lisbee, open this door! 457 00:27:34,669 --> 00:27:38,161 The windows! Secure the windows! 458 00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:41,333 [DENIS SCREAMING] 459 00:27:41,509 --> 00:27:43,602 Get out here! 460 00:27:44,346 --> 00:27:45,370 Is he always like this? 461 00:27:45,547 --> 00:27:48,380 This is new behavior, but not surprising. 462 00:27:53,488 --> 00:27:55,752 He's kind of cute. 463 00:27:56,624 --> 00:27:57,648 Kind of. 464 00:28:01,129 --> 00:28:03,120 [DOOR CREAKS] 465 00:28:04,933 --> 00:28:06,491 Oh, my God. 466 00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:11,303 Don't be afraid, I can handle this. 467 00:28:11,473 --> 00:28:14,101 I wasn't afraid. Why would you think I was afraid? 468 00:28:14,275 --> 00:28:16,106 Congratulations, you found me. 469 00:28:16,277 --> 00:28:19,610 Interesting situation we have here. 470 00:28:19,781 --> 00:28:21,646 Have you been doing coke? 471 00:28:21,816 --> 00:28:23,340 KEVIN: Not now, Lisbee. 472 00:28:23,518 --> 00:28:24,542 He's coked up? 473 00:28:24,719 --> 00:28:27,654 That is not one of the good drugs. 474 00:28:31,559 --> 00:28:34,460 Hey! Aunt Brenda gave us that! 475 00:28:35,730 --> 00:28:37,459 Prepare to die. 476 00:28:38,867 --> 00:28:42,826 Okay, that's Mandy Patinkin in The Princess Bride, Rob Reiner, 1987. 477 00:28:43,004 --> 00:28:45,131 Also the same line was used by Emperor Zurg.... 478 00:28:46,641 --> 00:28:48,302 BETH: Oh, my God! 479 00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:50,842 [SCREAMING] 480 00:28:51,646 --> 00:28:53,409 BETH: Stop it! Stop! 481 00:28:53,581 --> 00:28:56,448 Now, this is willful damage to property! 482 00:28:56,618 --> 00:28:57,642 That's a legal term! 483 00:29:02,524 --> 00:29:03,889 Go! 484 00:29:06,628 --> 00:29:08,687 Kevin, stop! 485 00:29:08,863 --> 00:29:10,160 Hey, hey, hey. 486 00:29:10,565 --> 00:29:13,227 No, Denis! Have you ever seen any of the Friday The 13ths? 487 00:29:13,401 --> 00:29:15,494 You run upstairs, you die! 488 00:29:25,780 --> 00:29:28,908 A weapon, we need a weapon. 489 00:29:32,687 --> 00:29:35,383 RICH: Oh, my God. Find weapons. Aah! 490 00:29:40,261 --> 00:29:42,126 [THUDDING ON DOOR] 491 00:29:43,965 --> 00:29:45,489 RICH: Denis! 492 00:30:11,593 --> 00:30:13,220 I know what you're thinking. 493 00:30:14,128 --> 00:30:18,724 And, yes, this is a polycarbonate blade. 494 00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:20,765 [GRUNTING] 495 00:30:22,837 --> 00:30:26,170 I took some workshops at the Star Wars convention. 496 00:30:28,443 --> 00:30:29,740 Dr. McCoy. 497 00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:34,776 That used to be a person, so you show some respect! 498 00:30:44,826 --> 00:30:48,762 Rich, I need your help. Come out of the closet! 499 00:30:49,063 --> 00:30:51,031 [GRUNTING] 500 00:31:00,408 --> 00:31:02,569 Uh, uh, okay. 501 00:31:07,815 --> 00:31:09,305 [SCREAMS] 502 00:31:17,992 --> 00:31:20,358 Go, get out of here! 503 00:31:20,662 --> 00:31:22,129 Go! 504 00:31:27,735 --> 00:31:29,259 -Weird. DENIS: Rich? 505 00:31:29,437 --> 00:31:32,600 RICH: Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Denis? 506 00:31:33,841 --> 00:31:36,537 Over here, over here. Are you okay? 507 00:31:36,711 --> 00:31:39,509 Yeah, I'm coming. I'm fine. 508 00:31:39,681 --> 00:31:40,841 Rich, what are you doing? 509 00:31:41,015 --> 00:31:43,347 I think I've made a terrible decision. 510 00:31:43,518 --> 00:31:46,009 At which point did you think that was a good decision? 511 00:31:46,187 --> 00:31:47,984 Yeah, no, no, no, I d-- 512 00:31:49,023 --> 00:31:50,752 [SCREAMING] 513 00:31:53,027 --> 00:31:54,051 Rich! 514 00:31:54,228 --> 00:31:55,889 KEVIN: Denis? 515 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,371 [GRUNTING] 516 00:32:16,751 --> 00:32:17,775 Are you okay? 517 00:32:17,952 --> 00:32:20,944 I'm paralyzed. I'm a paralyzed virgin. 518 00:32:21,122 --> 00:32:22,817 You'll be okay. 519 00:32:22,991 --> 00:32:24,891 Quadriplegics can have sex. 520 00:32:25,059 --> 00:32:28,028 I saw a documentary about it once on public television. 521 00:32:28,196 --> 00:32:29,424 Let's go. Come on. 522 00:32:29,597 --> 00:32:32,122 -Yeah. -Okay. 523 00:32:36,004 --> 00:32:38,404 KEVIN: Sean, Dustin, come on! 524 00:32:41,175 --> 00:32:42,199 Go, go, go! 525 00:32:42,377 --> 00:32:43,708 [GRUNTING] 526 00:32:51,285 --> 00:32:52,912 They're like cyborgs. 527 00:32:54,822 --> 00:32:56,119 Denis? 528 00:33:00,962 --> 00:33:06,195 Rich! Rich! Rich! 529 00:33:06,367 --> 00:33:07,459 [CAR APPROACHING] 530 00:33:13,474 --> 00:33:17,604 Why did you do that? I thought you were smart. 531 00:33:17,779 --> 00:33:20,907 I was smart. 532 00:33:21,082 --> 00:33:26,315 Oh, my God. Get him in the car. 533 00:33:26,954 --> 00:33:29,184 Come on. Are you okay? 534 00:33:29,357 --> 00:33:30,881 TREECE: Oh, my gosh. 535 00:33:31,059 --> 00:33:32,822 Wait, Rich. 536 00:33:39,133 --> 00:33:40,430 [YELLING] 537 00:33:40,601 --> 00:33:41,966 [TREECE SCREAMING] 538 00:33:42,136 --> 00:33:44,627 Lisbee! Stop the car. 539 00:33:47,075 --> 00:33:48,770 Hey! Come back here! 540 00:33:48,943 --> 00:33:51,537 Call me when you're sober! 541 00:34:05,226 --> 00:34:06,284 [GROANS] 542 00:34:06,494 --> 00:34:08,962 -Are you okay? -Yeah, no, I'm fi-- 543 00:34:11,566 --> 00:34:12,692 No blood. 544 00:34:17,004 --> 00:34:22,738 Beth, we got away, so you can stop escaping now if you want to. 545 00:34:22,910 --> 00:34:24,707 She always drives like this. 546 00:34:26,380 --> 00:34:28,814 I was in Driver's Ed with her. 547 00:34:28,983 --> 00:34:30,007 You could slow down. 548 00:34:30,184 --> 00:34:31,651 We're gonna try to watch the cones. 549 00:34:31,819 --> 00:34:33,548 We're gonna watch the road. 550 00:34:33,921 --> 00:34:35,081 Oh! I-- Oh. 551 00:34:36,424 --> 00:34:38,016 Not good, not good. Oh! 552 00:34:40,394 --> 00:34:41,918 I'm gonna need you to pull over. 553 00:34:42,330 --> 00:34:44,321 BETH: Oh, shit! 554 00:34:44,499 --> 00:34:45,557 [CAR HORN HONKING] 555 00:34:48,336 --> 00:34:50,600 Great, you just killed everybody in the car. 556 00:34:54,742 --> 00:34:57,233 I'm, like, the least notable person in this car. 557 00:34:57,411 --> 00:35:01,245 When we all die, I'll be referred to as 5th student. 558 00:35:02,416 --> 00:35:04,407 So, Beth, uh... 559 00:35:04,585 --> 00:35:07,816 I just wanna say thanks for rescuing me... 560 00:35:07,989 --> 00:35:10,514 back there after you hit me with your car. 561 00:35:10,691 --> 00:35:11,715 That was pretty cool. 562 00:35:11,893 --> 00:35:15,829 No, you ran into my car. 563 00:35:15,997 --> 00:35:19,558 And I'm not rescuing you. Kevin is heavily medicated right now. 564 00:35:19,734 --> 00:35:23,192 Cocaine, speed, roid rage, and he can't have another incident. 565 00:35:23,371 --> 00:35:25,202 He'll get court-martialed for sure. 566 00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:27,398 Sure, yeah. 567 00:35:28,176 --> 00:35:30,974 Do you remember the specifics of his last incident? 568 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:35,681 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa! 569 00:35:36,751 --> 00:35:38,275 [SCREAMS] 570 00:35:38,452 --> 00:35:40,647 BETH: Stupid drivers. 571 00:35:40,822 --> 00:35:45,919 Could I borrow your cell phone? I left mine back at the house. 572 00:35:47,128 --> 00:35:49,722 Thank you very much. I'll just.... 573 00:35:53,100 --> 00:35:55,568 [FOREIGNER'S " FEELS LIKE THE FIRST TIME" PLAYS ON SPEAKERS] 574 00:35:57,972 --> 00:35:59,132 [CELL PHONE BUZZING] 575 00:35:59,307 --> 00:36:02,003 -Honey. Honey, you're vibrating. -You bet I am. 576 00:36:02,176 --> 00:36:04,440 No, honey, honey, it could be Denis. 577 00:36:08,883 --> 00:36:11,545 I don't recognize the number. Do you? 578 00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:14,381 -Sorry. -No. 579 00:36:14,956 --> 00:36:17,049 Must be a telemarketer. 580 00:36:18,326 --> 00:36:20,351 [LAUGHING] 581 00:36:22,830 --> 00:36:24,297 [SQUEALING] 582 00:36:24,465 --> 00:36:28,196 Oh, Mr. Cooverman. 583 00:36:31,105 --> 00:36:32,902 Hey, Mom, Dad, it.... 584 00:36:33,074 --> 00:36:36,908 -Hi, Mrs. C. TREECE and CAMMY: Hi, Mrs. C! 585 00:36:37,078 --> 00:36:39,012 Yeah, that was just Rich... 586 00:36:39,180 --> 00:36:41,774 and we're okay. 587 00:36:41,949 --> 00:36:44,975 And I can explain the kitchen later. 588 00:36:45,152 --> 00:36:48,280 If you need to reach me, you can reach me at.... 589 00:36:50,157 --> 00:36:53,388 Beth, I'm sorry, can I get your cell phone number? 590 00:36:54,262 --> 00:36:56,321 Shit, my phone! 591 00:36:56,497 --> 00:36:57,964 Kevin's probably tracking it. 592 00:36:58,132 --> 00:37:00,896 -Aah. -GPS that, asshole! 593 00:37:01,068 --> 00:37:03,059 [LAUGHING] 594 00:37:03,537 --> 00:37:04,799 Asshole. 595 00:37:06,874 --> 00:37:07,898 Cool. 596 00:37:08,075 --> 00:37:12,205 MAN [ON RADIO] : I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. 597 00:37:12,380 --> 00:37:14,314 Ugh. Radio sucks. 598 00:37:15,783 --> 00:37:20,152 Actually, why don't you tune that to 87.1? 599 00:37:20,321 --> 00:37:25,384 Cooked up a little commencement mix that I think all of you will enjoy. 600 00:37:25,559 --> 00:37:30,223 DJ C's slamming graduation. What! 601 00:37:31,766 --> 00:37:33,825 [ALICE COOPER'S "SCHOOL'S OUT" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 602 00:37:45,913 --> 00:37:49,178 [SINGING] Well, we got no choice 603 00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:52,615 All the girls and boys 604 00:37:52,787 --> 00:37:56,120 Makin' all that noise 605 00:37:56,290 --> 00:37:59,453 BOTH [SINGING] : 'Cause they found new toys 606 00:37:59,961 --> 00:38:02,259 ALL [SINGING] : Well, we can't salute you 607 00:38:02,430 --> 00:38:04,057 Can't find a flag 608 00:38:04,231 --> 00:38:07,894 If that don't suit you That's a drag 609 00:38:08,069 --> 00:38:12,733 School's out for summer 610 00:38:14,809 --> 00:38:19,769 School's out forever 611 00:38:19,947 --> 00:38:22,279 Ever. 612 00:38:22,450 --> 00:38:26,614 School's been blown to pieces 613 00:38:26,787 --> 00:38:28,220 Yeah. 614 00:38:28,389 --> 00:38:32,917 I love this song. Who wouldn't want to blow up their school? 615 00:38:41,302 --> 00:38:43,293 [DENIS GRUNTS] 616 00:38:44,305 --> 00:38:46,671 Crack him like a walnut. 617 00:38:48,943 --> 00:38:50,308 Hello. 618 00:38:52,313 --> 00:38:54,247 Sorry. 619 00:38:55,583 --> 00:38:57,312 Let's get some beer. 620 00:39:03,557 --> 00:39:07,516 So, uh, I think I was knocked out back there momentarily... 621 00:39:07,695 --> 00:39:13,930 ...because I definitely wasn't, uh, you know, looking or anything. 622 00:39:14,101 --> 00:39:16,968 -Yuck. -What? 623 00:39:17,138 --> 00:39:20,164 Maybe we should get you some Band-Aids or cream or something. 624 00:39:20,341 --> 00:39:24,801 Oh, no. No, no, no, I'm-- I'm.... 625 00:39:24,979 --> 00:39:28,676 Wow, your eyes aren't blue. 626 00:39:30,117 --> 00:39:31,141 My eyes? 627 00:39:31,318 --> 00:39:34,515 Yeah, there's like some green in there and then... 628 00:39:34,688 --> 00:39:39,057 on the pupil, there's like a hazel starburst sort of thing going on. 629 00:39:40,327 --> 00:39:44,889 Uh, my grandma used to call them a real dog's breakfast. 630 00:39:45,499 --> 00:39:46,898 Lucky dog. 631 00:39:50,571 --> 00:39:52,664 So, what kind of beer do you like? 632 00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:54,637 What kind? All kinds. 633 00:39:54,809 --> 00:39:58,745 I'm a maniac for the brewdog. 634 00:40:03,050 --> 00:40:05,848 Chips, chips, chips. 635 00:40:07,221 --> 00:40:08,916 -Got it? -Yep, I got it. 636 00:40:09,090 --> 00:40:11,320 Suzy Q's, yum. 637 00:40:11,926 --> 00:40:13,826 My mom says yum. 638 00:40:14,562 --> 00:40:15,927 Yum. 639 00:40:16,097 --> 00:40:17,428 Not like that, that's.... 640 00:40:17,598 --> 00:40:19,896 -Got it? -Yep, good. 641 00:40:20,935 --> 00:40:22,232 BETH: Hi. -Hey. 642 00:40:22,403 --> 00:40:24,769 BETH: How are you? -Really good. 643 00:40:28,042 --> 00:40:29,907 There you go. 644 00:40:32,913 --> 00:40:34,608 What's with your boyfriend? 645 00:40:34,782 --> 00:40:37,444 Oh, he's my little brother. 646 00:40:38,686 --> 00:40:40,449 What happened to his face? 647 00:40:41,689 --> 00:40:43,953 Dad beats him. 648 00:40:44,458 --> 00:40:45,516 Sorry I asked. 649 00:40:46,994 --> 00:40:49,121 Oh, uh.... Heh, heh. 650 00:40:49,296 --> 00:40:50,854 I'm gonna need to see some ID. 651 00:40:52,199 --> 00:40:54,064 Of course. 652 00:40:56,904 --> 00:40:58,496 Here you go. 653 00:41:00,274 --> 00:41:03,607 Wow. You've lost weight, Patricia. 654 00:41:03,777 --> 00:41:05,802 You certainly don't look 37. 655 00:41:05,980 --> 00:41:07,777 Well, thank you. 656 00:41:10,251 --> 00:41:14,551 So that's $15.42, without the beer. 657 00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:19,250 Come on. It's graduation night. 658 00:41:19,426 --> 00:41:23,590 Oh, well, congratulations. 659 00:41:25,299 --> 00:41:27,426 Sam. 660 00:41:27,601 --> 00:41:30,263 You seem like a cool guy, Sam. 661 00:41:30,437 --> 00:41:33,304 Come on. Be cool. 662 00:41:35,009 --> 00:41:37,773 Look, I could lose my shitty job. 663 00:41:41,448 --> 00:41:45,680 How about I kiss you so hard, every time you think about it... 664 00:41:45,853 --> 00:41:47,821 you'll have to change your underwear? 665 00:41:56,931 --> 00:41:58,626 -We got beer. -Whoo! 666 00:41:58,799 --> 00:42:02,064 So that was weird, what you did in there, to him. 667 00:42:02,236 --> 00:42:03,260 What happened? 668 00:42:03,437 --> 00:42:06,270 I sucked his face for like 2 seconds. 669 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,704 RICH: Sucked his face? 670 00:42:08,876 --> 00:42:09,934 Purell me. 671 00:42:10,110 --> 00:42:11,441 Wow. 672 00:42:11,812 --> 00:42:14,178 That was a big sacrifice. 673 00:42:14,348 --> 00:42:17,943 I couldn't have done it. I mean, before drinking the beer. 674 00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:21,721 I'd do 2 seconds. 675 00:42:25,626 --> 00:42:27,719 What? It isn't gay. It isn't gay. 676 00:42:27,895 --> 00:42:30,125 It isn't gay. It's not gay. 677 00:42:30,297 --> 00:42:32,231 It's within the 3-second rule. 678 00:42:32,700 --> 00:42:35,066 That's for food dropped on the floor. 679 00:42:35,936 --> 00:42:38,200 Yeah, uh, whatever. 680 00:42:42,243 --> 00:42:43,870 She's not Beth Cooper. 681 00:42:58,525 --> 00:43:00,516 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 682 00:43:04,865 --> 00:43:06,765 [GRUNTING] 683 00:43:10,804 --> 00:43:12,135 [SIGHS] 684 00:43:12,606 --> 00:43:13,834 Indians. 685 00:43:15,743 --> 00:43:20,180 It's Jack Nicholson, Easy Rider, 1969, directed by Dennis Hopper. 686 00:43:20,581 --> 00:43:23,049 Something is really wrong with you. 687 00:43:23,350 --> 00:43:24,374 Yeah. 688 00:43:26,654 --> 00:43:29,987 To old D.H. Lawrence. 689 00:43:32,726 --> 00:43:34,091 BETH: Hey. 690 00:43:40,467 --> 00:43:42,458 [CHUCKLING] 691 00:43:54,048 --> 00:43:55,379 [TOOTH CRACKS] 692 00:43:56,984 --> 00:43:58,645 [DENIS COUGHING] 693 00:44:05,526 --> 00:44:06,652 Sorry. 694 00:44:06,827 --> 00:44:09,159 [BOTH GRUNTING] 695 00:44:10,264 --> 00:44:12,824 Are you okay? I'm sorry. 696 00:44:16,036 --> 00:44:17,765 Is that your tooth? 697 00:44:18,672 --> 00:44:20,162 It was deciduous. 698 00:44:20,641 --> 00:44:22,108 You still have baby teeth? 699 00:44:22,276 --> 00:44:23,743 Only 3 700 00:44:23,911 --> 00:44:25,902 Now...2. 701 00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,412 -I have 2. -For your pillow. 702 00:44:28,582 --> 00:44:29,606 Thank you. 703 00:44:29,783 --> 00:44:31,910 [KISS' " BETH" PLAYING ON MP3 PLAYER] 704 00:44:32,886 --> 00:44:36,788 How did that get on there? I don't-- I didn't even put-- 705 00:44:36,957 --> 00:44:38,356 Rich, did you put this on? 706 00:44:39,460 --> 00:44:40,950 Leave it. 707 00:44:50,104 --> 00:44:51,833 I have to pee. 708 00:44:52,005 --> 00:44:53,802 Me too. 709 00:44:56,877 --> 00:44:59,277 Ah. Me trice. 710 00:45:07,020 --> 00:45:09,682 You know, I was named after this song. 711 00:45:10,891 --> 00:45:12,859 You were named after a Kiss song? 712 00:45:13,026 --> 00:45:14,493 Yes. 713 00:45:15,496 --> 00:45:19,398 My parents were headbangers. 714 00:45:19,566 --> 00:45:22,467 -Whoa. -Still kind of are. 715 00:45:23,504 --> 00:45:26,905 Beth Cooper's parents. Taking in a Kiss show. 716 00:45:27,074 --> 00:45:32,341 Oh, man. That is so...cool. 717 00:45:33,881 --> 00:45:35,212 It's cool. 718 00:45:35,382 --> 00:45:39,546 You got headbanger parents. That's awesome. 719 00:45:42,089 --> 00:45:43,283 Hm. 720 00:45:45,292 --> 00:45:47,317 Why are we walking? 721 00:45:47,561 --> 00:45:51,122 When I get my own car, I am never walking anywhere again. 722 00:45:51,298 --> 00:45:53,266 My dad was gonna give me his old car... 723 00:45:53,434 --> 00:45:57,268 but then my stepmom bitch Tricia crashed hers. 724 00:45:57,438 --> 00:46:00,271 Well, that's what you get for splitting your parents up. 725 00:46:00,441 --> 00:46:02,170 Mean, mean! 726 00:46:02,342 --> 00:46:05,402 Never admit your innermost fears to Cammy. 727 00:46:05,813 --> 00:46:07,747 Oh, my God. 728 00:46:07,915 --> 00:46:09,712 -What? -Cows. 729 00:46:10,551 --> 00:46:12,178 Let's tip one. 730 00:46:12,352 --> 00:46:14,684 What, isn't that like an urban legend? 731 00:46:15,155 --> 00:46:17,783 Why don't you go find out? 732 00:46:18,292 --> 00:46:20,317 Me? It was your idea. 733 00:46:20,494 --> 00:46:21,927 You're the guy. 734 00:46:22,095 --> 00:46:23,858 More or less. 735 00:46:24,198 --> 00:46:25,222 TREECE: Go, go, go. 736 00:46:25,399 --> 00:46:29,062 RICH: Okay, that's really nice. Okay. TREECE: Ew. Ew. Ew. 737 00:46:29,236 --> 00:46:30,260 Okay. 738 00:46:30,437 --> 00:46:33,099 Shh. Could you just: Shh. 739 00:46:33,273 --> 00:46:36,606 -This is the one. -Go. Shut up. 740 00:46:36,777 --> 00:46:38,870 -Hey, okay. TREECE: Ew. Okay. 741 00:46:39,046 --> 00:46:40,070 [COW GROANS] 742 00:46:40,247 --> 00:46:42,215 Whoa. What's that kind of--? That's like a noise. 743 00:46:42,382 --> 00:46:44,009 It's a moo, okay? Push it. 744 00:46:44,184 --> 00:46:46,311 -Where? -In the middle. 745 00:46:46,487 --> 00:46:47,545 Okay, push. 746 00:46:47,721 --> 00:46:49,689 Oh, shit. 747 00:46:49,857 --> 00:46:51,290 [TREECE and CAMMY LAUGHING] 748 00:46:51,458 --> 00:46:52,982 Do not laugh. 749 00:46:59,099 --> 00:47:00,794 So, what are you thinking? 750 00:47:02,536 --> 00:47:04,231 Nothing. 751 00:47:05,038 --> 00:47:08,132 So, what are you doing after graduation? 752 00:47:08,442 --> 00:47:09,466 I was gonna-- 753 00:47:09,643 --> 00:47:13,739 They got this, like, pre-med med-school thing at Stanford and.... 754 00:47:14,448 --> 00:47:16,541 Good luck with that. 755 00:47:20,787 --> 00:47:22,778 So, what are your plans? 756 00:47:23,357 --> 00:47:27,293 I don't know. Maybe go to old Harpers Community College. 757 00:47:27,661 --> 00:47:29,288 Harpers. 758 00:47:29,696 --> 00:47:31,163 Yeah, no, cool. 759 00:47:31,331 --> 00:47:36,166 They got a lot of good credit courses. 760 00:47:36,670 --> 00:47:39,138 Maybe. If I can afford it. 761 00:47:45,245 --> 00:47:47,713 So I'm not Beth Cooper, huh? 762 00:47:48,916 --> 00:47:49,940 You heard that? 763 00:47:53,754 --> 00:47:59,249 Look, what I only meant was, you didn't seem like.... 764 00:47:59,426 --> 00:48:01,360 The Beth Cooper over your bed? 765 00:48:02,162 --> 00:48:04,858 Right. Her. 766 00:48:05,032 --> 00:48:07,592 She would never hook up with some loser for a 12-pack. 767 00:48:07,768 --> 00:48:10,498 No, she wouldn't. 768 00:48:11,705 --> 00:48:14,265 And you don't have to. 769 00:48:17,244 --> 00:48:19,178 You're better than that. 770 00:48:36,730 --> 00:48:38,061 [GRUNTS] 771 00:48:38,398 --> 00:48:40,662 That's it. I'm done. 772 00:48:40,834 --> 00:48:43,302 I'm going back. Thank you. 773 00:48:44,137 --> 00:48:45,502 You're welcome. 774 00:48:45,672 --> 00:48:46,798 Bye, cow! 775 00:48:47,975 --> 00:48:49,966 [MOOING] 776 00:48:50,777 --> 00:48:52,301 What's that sound? 777 00:48:52,479 --> 00:48:53,969 [COWS MOOING] 778 00:48:55,782 --> 00:48:57,079 -Cows. -Aah! 779 00:48:57,584 --> 00:49:00,417 Stampede! 780 00:49:02,122 --> 00:49:04,113 [COW BELLOWS] 781 00:49:05,292 --> 00:49:07,283 What the hell was that? 782 00:49:08,996 --> 00:49:11,123 Uh, sounded like a cow. 783 00:49:11,298 --> 00:49:14,995 No, that was no standard cow. 784 00:49:16,837 --> 00:49:20,102 Denis Cooverman. Are you afraid of cows? 785 00:49:20,273 --> 00:49:22,764 Vaccaphobic? Course not. 786 00:49:22,976 --> 00:49:24,967 [RICH SCREAMING] 787 00:49:25,145 --> 00:49:26,510 DENIS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 788 00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:28,045 What the hell? What happened? 789 00:49:28,215 --> 00:49:29,546 TREECE: God, it's so funny! 790 00:49:29,716 --> 00:49:30,944 A cow bit me! 791 00:49:31,118 --> 00:49:32,779 No, cows can't bite. 792 00:49:32,953 --> 00:49:34,784 Well, this one sure as shit could. 793 00:49:34,955 --> 00:49:36,923 No, no, no, cows don't bite. 794 00:49:37,090 --> 00:49:40,491 We all know that they lack upper incisors. 795 00:49:41,595 --> 00:49:42,960 You're useful. 796 00:49:43,797 --> 00:49:45,765 What is that smell? 797 00:49:46,266 --> 00:49:48,131 He pooped his shoes. 798 00:49:49,803 --> 00:49:51,794 [LAUGHS] 799 00:49:52,039 --> 00:49:55,202 -Lose the shoes. -I paid for these shoes. 800 00:49:55,776 --> 00:49:58,973 Uh, you're not getting in my car with those shoes on. 801 00:49:59,146 --> 00:50:01,444 They go, with you in them or not. 802 00:50:05,352 --> 00:50:06,614 You pooped your shoes. 803 00:50:25,005 --> 00:50:26,495 Lights out. 804 00:50:27,541 --> 00:50:29,532 [CAMMY and TREECE SCREAMING] 805 00:50:31,344 --> 00:50:33,335 [DENIS and RICH SCREAMING] 806 00:50:39,886 --> 00:50:41,877 [WHOOPING] 807 00:50:46,927 --> 00:50:51,830 To the future! Whoo! 808 00:50:51,998 --> 00:50:53,989 [LAUGHING] 809 00:50:57,437 --> 00:51:00,099 Turn the headlights on now! Please, please, please! 810 00:51:00,273 --> 00:51:01,365 Okay! 811 00:51:02,776 --> 00:51:04,869 There, you happy? 812 00:51:05,045 --> 00:51:06,307 Car! 813 00:51:06,546 --> 00:51:08,605 [ALL SCREAMING] 814 00:51:12,319 --> 00:51:13,911 [SCREECHING] 815 00:51:19,392 --> 00:51:22,657 Sorry, I was unaware I was emitting that. 816 00:51:38,245 --> 00:51:40,805 RICH: Mr. and Mrs. C? BETH: Who? 817 00:51:42,048 --> 00:51:43,879 My mom and dad. 818 00:51:45,986 --> 00:51:49,683 Could be worse. Could not be your mom. 819 00:51:51,324 --> 00:51:56,159 Well, thank you all for a lovely evening... 820 00:51:57,330 --> 00:51:59,298 but now I must die. 821 00:51:59,733 --> 00:52:03,294 You do not wanna talk to your dad when he has his pants down. 822 00:52:05,639 --> 00:52:06,936 Yeah. 823 00:52:14,281 --> 00:52:15,714 Goddamn kids! 824 00:52:20,053 --> 00:52:21,247 VALET: Jeez! 825 00:52:21,421 --> 00:52:22,911 Sorry! 826 00:52:26,193 --> 00:52:27,592 Thank you. 827 00:52:28,061 --> 00:52:29,858 Shit my panties. 828 00:52:30,030 --> 00:52:32,931 This is Valli Wooley's house. We can't go in here. 829 00:52:33,099 --> 00:52:34,691 Because you called her a stuck-up bitch... 830 00:52:34,868 --> 00:52:36,335 in front of the whole school? 831 00:52:36,503 --> 00:52:37,527 Don't worry... 832 00:52:37,704 --> 00:52:39,399 she's usually upstairs with a guy by now. 833 00:52:39,573 --> 00:52:41,598 If she gives you shit, go for her throat. 834 00:52:41,775 --> 00:52:42,969 She'll be protecting her nose. 835 00:52:43,143 --> 00:52:45,634 Her nose was a graduation present. 836 00:52:46,479 --> 00:52:47,503 CAMMY: Bitch. 837 00:52:49,282 --> 00:52:50,306 Hi! 838 00:52:50,483 --> 00:52:52,508 Ew. Don't say hi to her. 839 00:52:52,919 --> 00:52:55,046 Drinks by the pool! 840 00:52:55,255 --> 00:52:57,246 [CHATTERING] 841 00:52:57,424 --> 00:53:00,416 [GYM CLASS HEROES' "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN" PLAYS ON SPEAKERS] 842 00:53:01,228 --> 00:53:02,559 [SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY] 843 00:53:06,399 --> 00:53:10,301 Hey, what is that? It's nice. Is it salmon-colored? 844 00:53:14,574 --> 00:53:15,836 Sorry. 845 00:53:27,354 --> 00:53:28,787 Your party was better. 846 00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:48,665 What? 847 00:53:53,546 --> 00:53:55,741 I'm gonna go find a bathroom. 848 00:54:17,938 --> 00:54:19,269 Okay. 849 00:54:20,240 --> 00:54:21,537 Don't move. 850 00:54:21,708 --> 00:54:25,041 All right, yes, fine, all right. 851 00:54:27,147 --> 00:54:28,910 Oh, Greg. 852 00:54:30,050 --> 00:54:33,178 Well, if anybody's gonna kill me tonight... 853 00:54:33,353 --> 00:54:34,911 it should be you, you deserve it. 854 00:54:35,088 --> 00:54:36,612 You've earned it. 855 00:54:39,726 --> 00:54:41,250 How did you know? 856 00:54:43,296 --> 00:54:44,661 How did you...? 857 00:54:45,532 --> 00:54:47,523 [SOBBING] 858 00:55:06,886 --> 00:55:08,319 Did I do that? 859 00:55:08,555 --> 00:55:12,355 This? No, it's not one of yours. 860 00:55:12,759 --> 00:55:14,317 It was an accident. 861 00:55:14,494 --> 00:55:18,624 You know, sometimes, I don't even remember doing it. 862 00:55:20,166 --> 00:55:21,690 I just black out. 863 00:55:23,336 --> 00:55:25,304 I'd have that looked at, Greg. 864 00:55:25,872 --> 00:55:27,237 Yeah. 865 00:55:31,277 --> 00:55:35,441 Maybe I could call you sometime? We could talk about it? 866 00:55:36,016 --> 00:55:37,244 Sure. 867 00:55:39,019 --> 00:55:41,613 Maybe a trained professional would be better. 868 00:55:41,788 --> 00:55:44,450 I'm just thinking aloud here. 869 00:55:46,393 --> 00:55:49,157 But can I get a hug? I mean, hugs are good. 870 00:55:50,430 --> 00:55:52,330 You do what you need to do, Greg. 871 00:55:56,136 --> 00:55:57,501 All right. 872 00:56:00,940 --> 00:56:04,535 [SINGING] Forget the tears we've cried 873 00:56:06,246 --> 00:56:09,875 Forget the good times too 874 00:56:12,419 --> 00:56:16,355 BOTH: Forget the pain inside 875 00:56:18,491 --> 00:56:23,758 I will be there waiting for you 876 00:56:24,130 --> 00:56:26,690 GREG : Thanks, Denis. Thanks a lot. Thanks. 877 00:56:26,900 --> 00:56:29,594 [THE TING TINGS' "SHUT UP AND LET ME GO" PLAYS ON SPEAKERS] 878 00:56:31,738 --> 00:56:33,137 Rich! 879 00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:35,874 RICH: Le Coove! Here. -Thank you. 880 00:56:36,042 --> 00:56:37,976 RICH: Check it out. Coach Raupp. 881 00:56:39,179 --> 00:56:40,476 Pedophilia. 882 00:56:41,481 --> 00:56:43,779 It's always the gym teachers. 883 00:56:46,586 --> 00:56:48,781 You know they call us Dick Munch and the Penis? 884 00:56:48,955 --> 00:56:50,081 Yeah. 885 00:56:50,256 --> 00:56:53,589 I mean, like, together, like we're like the gaynamic duo or something. 886 00:56:55,028 --> 00:56:57,087 -Where's Beth? -Wherever. 887 00:56:58,164 --> 00:56:59,791 I told you that speech was a good idea. 888 00:56:59,966 --> 00:57:01,160 What are you talking about? 889 00:57:01,334 --> 00:57:04,098 What about what's happened tonight could be construed as good? 890 00:57:04,270 --> 00:57:06,170 Closure. If you didn't give that speech... 891 00:57:06,339 --> 00:57:09,001 you'd never know what a scary wack job Beth Cooper was. 892 00:57:09,175 --> 00:57:11,939 No other girl would ever live up to her mythic proportions. 893 00:57:12,112 --> 00:57:16,481 She's not a scary wack job. She's not a wack job. 894 00:57:16,649 --> 00:57:19,049 Dude, don't backpedal, you know. Onwards! 895 00:57:19,219 --> 00:57:20,243 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 896 00:57:20,420 --> 00:57:23,685 Your new hopeless obsession might be at this very party. 897 00:57:24,390 --> 00:57:25,721 PATTY: Denny! 898 00:57:25,892 --> 00:57:27,484 Oh, secret shame. 899 00:57:27,660 --> 00:57:28,684 This is so great. 900 00:57:28,862 --> 00:57:30,955 I didn't expect to see you here. 901 00:57:32,465 --> 00:57:33,796 Patty. 902 00:57:34,734 --> 00:57:39,603 I loved your speech. You said some very perceptive things. 903 00:57:39,839 --> 00:57:42,933 Richard, do you know Victoria? 904 00:57:43,109 --> 00:57:46,909 Yes, certainamente. You, uh, lost weight, Tori. 905 00:57:48,214 --> 00:57:50,546 You're not wearing shoes. 906 00:57:51,484 --> 00:57:53,247 Nobody wears shoes anymore. 907 00:57:53,419 --> 00:57:55,717 PATTY: Denny, what happened to your poor face? 908 00:57:56,089 --> 00:57:57,852 Greg Saloga beat you up, I bet. 909 00:57:58,024 --> 00:58:00,822 Or Valli Wooley, she paid someone to beat you up? 910 00:58:00,994 --> 00:58:05,328 No, the Coove had a little dust-up with Beth Cooper's boyfriend. 911 00:58:05,598 --> 00:58:08,089 -Beth Cooper? RICH: Yeah, ex-boyfriend actually. 912 00:58:08,268 --> 00:58:12,170 Army, dark ops, couldn't stand the idea of the Coove here and Beth... 913 00:58:12,338 --> 00:58:14,033 so it went to blows. 914 00:58:14,207 --> 00:58:18,075 I mean, you think this is bad, you should see the other guy. 915 00:58:18,244 --> 00:58:21,145 DENIS: Yeah, I mean, I feel bad for him. 916 00:58:21,314 --> 00:58:24,374 He's in the hospital, all beaten up and shit. 917 00:58:24,551 --> 00:58:27,076 To tell you the truth, I just hope he's okay. 918 00:58:27,253 --> 00:58:28,379 Me too. 919 00:58:28,555 --> 00:58:31,547 Actually, he's upstairs. 920 00:58:32,625 --> 00:58:34,752 Um, whoa, uh.... 921 00:58:34,928 --> 00:58:36,828 Right, look at the time here. 922 00:58:36,996 --> 00:58:41,160 My female fianc�e's getting off her shift at Hooters, so.... 923 00:58:41,334 --> 00:58:44,428 Wow, you know, but this has been a pleasure, ladies, so.... 924 00:58:44,604 --> 00:58:47,300 Good luck! It was nice seeing you! 925 00:58:48,274 --> 00:58:49,468 Bye! 926 00:58:50,877 --> 00:58:52,105 Sorry. 927 00:58:52,545 --> 00:58:54,706 -Where are you going? -We gotta get out of here. 928 00:58:54,881 --> 00:58:56,280 VALLI: Asshole! 929 00:58:56,449 --> 00:58:57,711 What are you doing here? 930 00:59:00,353 --> 00:59:01,547 Don't. 931 00:59:10,296 --> 00:59:11,627 [WHISTLES] 932 00:59:12,432 --> 00:59:14,491 So we meet again. 933 00:59:14,801 --> 00:59:19,966 Really? Ernst Blofeld in just like every Bond movie. Oh, okay. 934 00:59:20,139 --> 00:59:21,436 Kevin, just stop. 935 00:59:23,042 --> 00:59:24,600 Get out of here. 936 00:59:25,178 --> 00:59:27,806 And get yourself tested for gonorrhea. 937 00:59:28,848 --> 00:59:34,252 Why don't you get that tight, pretty butt of yours in my vehicle, all right? 938 00:59:35,688 --> 00:59:37,087 Move out! 939 00:59:44,864 --> 00:59:46,297 CAMMY: Are you okay? 940 00:59:50,136 --> 00:59:51,467 Stay here. 941 00:59:54,007 --> 00:59:55,406 KEVIN: Clear out! 942 00:59:56,776 --> 00:59:58,767 [DENIS GRUNTING] 943 01:00:02,015 --> 01:00:04,506 I am not your plaything! 944 01:00:06,953 --> 01:00:08,784 No, no, come on! Come on, people! 945 01:00:08,955 --> 01:00:11,082 Are you just gonna let him murder me? 946 01:00:11,257 --> 01:00:12,622 VALLI: Wait! 947 01:00:16,963 --> 01:00:19,397 I am not worthless, okay? 948 01:00:19,565 --> 01:00:23,592 Look at this party. Look at all my friends. 949 01:00:24,304 --> 01:00:26,238 Cause brain damage. 950 01:00:28,174 --> 01:00:30,540 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 951 01:00:30,710 --> 01:00:32,143 Thank God, Coach Raupp. 952 01:00:32,312 --> 01:00:33,677 Ladies. 953 01:00:34,347 --> 01:00:35,678 Some ground rules. 954 01:00:35,848 --> 01:00:39,045 -You're not gonna stop it? -Look, all I want is a fair fight. 955 01:00:39,218 --> 01:00:42,278 Fair fight? Look at his arms, they're like redwoods. 956 01:00:42,455 --> 01:00:43,888 RAUPP: Yeah. Aren't they great? 957 01:00:44,057 --> 01:00:45,786 Okay. Pretty simple. 958 01:00:45,958 --> 01:00:50,452 No biting, scratching, hair-pulling. None of that sissy stuff, okay? 959 01:00:50,630 --> 01:00:52,097 -Headbutt? -Definitely. 960 01:00:52,265 --> 01:00:55,757 And remember, once your opponent loses consciousness... 961 01:00:55,935 --> 01:00:57,334 ...the beating is over. 962 01:00:57,503 --> 01:00:58,936 Okay? 963 01:00:59,105 --> 01:01:00,265 And... 964 01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:02,034 fight. 965 01:01:05,812 --> 01:01:07,643 Cooverman, Bison pride. 966 01:01:08,281 --> 01:01:10,112 No, I'm not gonna fight him. 967 01:01:10,283 --> 01:01:12,911 Don't be such a pussy, pussy. Come on. 968 01:01:13,219 --> 01:01:16,882 Look, Kevin, you've won, okay? 969 01:01:17,056 --> 01:01:18,284 You got the girl... 970 01:01:18,458 --> 01:01:21,120 ...you've humiliated me in front of all my peers. 971 01:01:21,294 --> 01:01:25,230 I apologize and surrender unconditionally. 972 01:01:26,299 --> 01:01:27,630 [GRUNTS] 973 01:01:28,101 --> 01:01:29,932 Denis. 974 01:01:30,103 --> 01:01:31,593 PATTY: Denny, your face. 975 01:01:31,771 --> 01:01:35,867 Wow. Ha, ha. Oh, man! That was great. 976 01:01:36,042 --> 01:01:37,566 Are you okay? 977 01:01:38,311 --> 01:01:39,335 Get up! 978 01:01:40,947 --> 01:01:42,881 -You can take him. -No, no. 979 01:01:43,049 --> 01:01:44,175 You can do this. 980 01:01:44,817 --> 01:01:47,183 Get up! Come on. 981 01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:49,585 Hey! 982 01:01:49,756 --> 01:01:50,916 Leave my friend alone! 983 01:01:51,758 --> 01:01:53,885 [GRUNTING] 984 01:01:55,495 --> 01:01:56,553 Let's get him. 985 01:02:00,867 --> 01:02:02,960 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Timeout, Salo-- 986 01:02:09,208 --> 01:02:10,937 That all you got, son, huh? 987 01:02:25,191 --> 01:02:27,921 Now, Denis, where were we? 988 01:02:29,595 --> 01:02:31,586 [TIRES SQUEALING] 989 01:02:51,250 --> 01:02:53,013 [OVER PA] Denis Cooverman. 990 01:02:56,255 --> 01:02:57,449 Come on. 991 01:03:00,693 --> 01:03:02,490 KEVIN: Where do you think you're going? 992 01:03:06,866 --> 01:03:08,925 BETH: Okay, time to get in the car! Get in the car. 993 01:03:09,435 --> 01:03:12,097 Denis! Come on. 994 01:03:18,277 --> 01:03:19,539 VALET: Watch it! 995 01:03:27,286 --> 01:03:28,810 [BETH WHOOPS] 996 01:03:28,988 --> 01:03:31,821 Do you know how many laws you just broke? 997 01:03:31,991 --> 01:03:34,289 Grand theft auto, criminal destruction of property... 998 01:03:34,460 --> 01:03:37,088 assault with a deadly weapon, aggravated battery... 999 01:03:37,263 --> 01:03:41,427 leaving the scene of an accident, speeding, and now failure to stop! 1000 01:03:41,601 --> 01:03:45,230 -That's 7, at least! -That's a new record! 1001 01:03:45,404 --> 01:03:47,463 I don't think that's a record. 1002 01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:49,301 DENIS: I think you should pull over. 1003 01:03:49,475 --> 01:03:50,669 -Pull over, Beth. -Ha. 1004 01:03:51,010 --> 01:03:53,069 Hey, how about this? How about: 1005 01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:57,080 "Thank you. Thank you, Beth, for saving my life again? " 1006 01:03:57,250 --> 01:04:00,583 Saving my life? Saving my--? 1007 01:04:01,187 --> 01:04:04,122 You're the one who almost ran over me with a military vehicle... 1008 01:04:04,290 --> 01:04:06,986 owned by some homicidal rage ape you call a boyfriend... 1009 01:04:07,159 --> 01:04:08,990 who's been trying to kill me all night! 1010 01:04:09,161 --> 01:04:11,288 You're spitting your blood at me! Pbbt. 1011 01:04:11,464 --> 01:04:14,058 You're supposed to keep your bodily fluids to yourself. 1012 01:04:14,233 --> 01:04:18,897 You know what? This is not fun anymore. 1013 01:04:20,973 --> 01:04:23,134 Who said it's supposed to be fun? 1014 01:04:42,695 --> 01:04:44,492 Everybody out. 1015 01:04:48,834 --> 01:04:51,997 Uh-uh. No, no, no. What are we doing here? 1016 01:04:52,171 --> 01:04:53,661 I have a key to the school. 1017 01:04:53,839 --> 01:04:55,466 You have a key to the school. 1018 01:04:55,641 --> 01:04:58,906 Head cheerleader is a position of trust and responsibility. 1019 01:04:59,078 --> 01:05:01,512 -Heh, heh. Fools. -Ha, ha, ha. 1020 01:05:07,914 --> 01:05:11,372 Come on, Denis. This is the least illegal thing we've done all night. 1021 01:05:11,551 --> 01:05:13,416 Sit. You'll enjoy it. 1022 01:05:18,892 --> 01:05:20,792 -Ready, girls? -Yes. 1023 01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:23,292 [CHANTING] 5, 6, 7, 8! 1024 01:05:23,463 --> 01:05:26,432 Are you ready? Ready for the best 1025 01:05:26,599 --> 01:05:29,796 B-G, number 1 Oh, yeah, nothing less 1026 01:05:29,969 --> 01:05:32,597 5, 6, 7, 8! 1027 01:05:32,772 --> 01:05:35,935 We're going to the top We can't be stopped 1028 01:05:36,109 --> 01:05:38,407 Come on, girls Yell yellow! 1029 01:05:38,845 --> 01:05:40,176 Yellow. 1030 01:05:40,346 --> 01:05:41,540 GROUP: Yell blue! 1031 01:05:41,714 --> 01:05:42,976 Blue! 1032 01:05:43,349 --> 01:05:46,318 GROUP: Mighty Bisons Oh, yeah, let's fight 1033 01:05:46,486 --> 01:05:49,250 Ready and slow it down. 1034 01:05:49,422 --> 01:05:53,449 Can you feel it? What? Can you feel the heat? 1035 01:05:53,626 --> 01:05:57,221 Yellow and blue Oh, yeah, how sweet 1036 01:05:57,530 --> 01:06:00,192 Ready and last time 1037 01:06:00,366 --> 01:06:03,733 With spirit and spark We steal the show 1038 01:06:03,903 --> 01:06:07,304 Mighty Bisons, kiss, kiss Gotta go! 1039 01:06:07,473 --> 01:06:08,997 Yeah! 1040 01:06:10,476 --> 01:06:12,467 [LAUGHING] 1041 01:06:31,231 --> 01:06:33,131 Let's hit the showers. 1042 01:06:33,299 --> 01:06:36,291 -Showers! Showers! -Yay! 1043 01:06:37,303 --> 01:06:39,737 BETH: Let's go! Come on, hurry! TREECE: Showers! 1044 01:06:39,906 --> 01:06:42,807 [TREECE and BETH WHOOPING AND SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 1045 01:06:50,450 --> 01:06:52,782 -They're hitting the showers. -Yeah. 1046 01:06:52,952 --> 01:06:54,249 Come on! 1047 01:06:54,420 --> 01:06:57,253 I-- I-- I'd love to. I just, um.... 1048 01:06:57,423 --> 01:07:00,859 -I don't think we were invited. -Uh, I'm pretty sure we were. 1049 01:07:03,196 --> 01:07:05,528 You know, Rich... 1050 01:07:06,766 --> 01:07:09,200 you don't have to prove anything. 1051 01:07:16,109 --> 01:07:18,100 [SPEAKING IN SPANISH] 1052 01:07:26,819 --> 01:07:28,810 [BETH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1053 01:07:32,225 --> 01:07:33,783 BETH: Some woman. 1054 01:07:35,261 --> 01:07:36,626 Oh, yeah. 1055 01:07:37,563 --> 01:07:40,862 I said yes, immediately. I was like.... 1056 01:07:42,635 --> 01:07:44,535 -Sorry. BETH: Denis. 1057 01:07:49,409 --> 01:07:51,070 Don't be shy. 1058 01:07:59,319 --> 01:08:00,411 [MOANS] 1059 01:08:00,586 --> 01:08:01,848 God. 1060 01:08:02,088 --> 01:08:03,419 Oh. 1061 01:08:07,894 --> 01:08:10,658 TREECE: Hey, space boy. Come get wet. 1062 01:08:11,297 --> 01:08:13,288 [GIRLS GIGGLING AND SHRIEKING] 1063 01:08:16,903 --> 01:08:19,428 That invitation good enough for you? 1064 01:08:20,440 --> 01:08:23,034 I just don't think we should be.... 1065 01:08:23,209 --> 01:08:25,939 Stop! Stop thinking with your brain, dude. 1066 01:08:26,112 --> 01:08:30,310 -I don't wanna ruin anything. -There's nothing left to ruin! 1067 01:08:30,483 --> 01:08:32,781 You know, except maybe this. 1068 01:08:32,952 --> 01:08:35,750 And this, my friend, is a rare occasion. 1069 01:08:35,922 --> 01:08:37,947 Chances like this don't come along every day. 1070 01:08:38,124 --> 01:08:39,591 In fact, they never come along. 1071 01:08:39,759 --> 01:08:41,249 This does not happen! 1072 01:08:41,427 --> 01:08:43,292 TREECE: Are you guys coming? 1073 01:08:44,330 --> 01:08:49,893 " Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary." 1074 01:08:50,069 --> 01:08:52,697 Robin Williams, and your dad. 1075 01:08:54,640 --> 01:08:59,407 I'm just trying to make it through the night alive, okay? 1076 01:08:59,679 --> 01:09:02,011 You're not alive unless you're living. 1077 01:09:04,283 --> 01:09:05,477 Who said that? 1078 01:09:07,587 --> 01:09:09,111 I think I did. 1079 01:09:12,592 --> 01:09:14,822 " Here's Johnny!" 1080 01:09:15,161 --> 01:09:17,152 [ROARING] 1081 01:09:17,597 --> 01:09:19,588 [GIRLS SHRIEKING] 1082 01:09:29,108 --> 01:09:31,542 Carpe diem. 1083 01:09:38,051 --> 01:09:40,042 [HUMMING] 1084 01:09:49,529 --> 01:09:50,860 Beth. 1085 01:09:51,898 --> 01:09:55,197 Gotta tell you, you're in for a treat. 1086 01:09:55,368 --> 01:09:58,997 Been reading a few of my mom's ladies magazines... 1087 01:09:59,172 --> 01:10:03,370 and they've got a couple secrets on how to ultimately pleasure you. 1088 01:10:03,543 --> 01:10:05,010 [GRUNTING] 1089 01:10:15,254 --> 01:10:18,587 -How did you find us?! -LoJack, dipshit. 1090 01:10:18,758 --> 01:10:20,783 RICH: Man of war! 1091 01:10:21,761 --> 01:10:24,423 Taste my wet blade. 1092 01:10:25,865 --> 01:10:27,833 [GRUNTING] 1093 01:10:32,538 --> 01:10:35,063 BETH: Come on! Get your stuff! RICH: Go! 1094 01:10:35,241 --> 01:10:38,074 DENIS: Are you sure? -I can handle these 3. 1095 01:10:39,445 --> 01:10:42,312 I've been preparing for this all my life. 1096 01:10:42,615 --> 01:10:44,776 Help! Help! 1097 01:10:47,653 --> 01:10:49,644 [LAUGHING] 1098 01:10:54,660 --> 01:10:56,719 BOY: Come on, let's get out of here. 1099 01:11:04,237 --> 01:11:05,864 Never again. 1100 01:11:13,646 --> 01:11:14,977 Yes! 1101 01:11:39,939 --> 01:11:42,601 Come on, hurry up! I'm trying, stop moving! 1102 01:11:42,775 --> 01:11:44,868 BETH: What happened to your pants? 1103 01:11:45,044 --> 01:11:46,944 Your boyfriend has them. 1104 01:11:47,113 --> 01:11:49,411 Okay, we gotta go, come on. Get your stuff! 1105 01:11:49,582 --> 01:11:51,311 Come on, come on, come on! 1106 01:11:56,722 --> 01:12:00,658 Aw, how sweet. Kevin brought back my car. 1107 01:12:00,826 --> 01:12:01,952 Come on! 1108 01:12:02,128 --> 01:12:03,390 DENIS: Hey, what about Rich? 1109 01:12:03,563 --> 01:12:05,554 [RICH and KEVIN GRUNTING] 1110 01:12:30,690 --> 01:12:34,148 Yah! Is that all you've got? 1111 01:12:34,327 --> 01:12:36,921 Oh. Oh, one more? 1112 01:12:38,931 --> 01:12:41,229 Ha, ha, ha. Classic. 1113 01:12:46,806 --> 01:12:48,797 [LAUGHING] 1114 01:12:50,176 --> 01:12:51,939 -Guys! DENIS: Rich! 1115 01:12:52,111 --> 01:12:55,103 Rich, I got your clothes. Hurry up. 1116 01:12:57,183 --> 01:12:58,275 Yah! 1117 01:12:58,451 --> 01:12:59,918 TREECE: Come on, come on, come on! 1118 01:13:00,086 --> 01:13:01,849 Okay, go, go. 1119 01:13:05,391 --> 01:13:07,154 [TRUCK HORN HONKING] 1120 01:13:09,495 --> 01:13:11,554 Goddamn truck drivers. 1121 01:13:11,731 --> 01:13:13,221 Where are we going? 1122 01:13:13,599 --> 01:13:15,533 We can go to my dad's cabin. 1123 01:13:15,701 --> 01:13:19,398 I can go there anytime I want as long as I don't tell Mom where it is. 1124 01:13:19,939 --> 01:13:23,136 You know what, I just, um-- I wanna go home. 1125 01:13:23,309 --> 01:13:25,743 You know, you're the one who started this. 1126 01:13:26,779 --> 01:13:27,973 Me? 1127 01:13:28,147 --> 01:13:29,978 Yeah, you. 1128 01:13:30,149 --> 01:13:33,346 You're the geek who, in front of the entire school, our friends and family... 1129 01:13:33,519 --> 01:13:36,511 declared your love for someone you don't know a thing about. 1130 01:13:36,822 --> 01:13:39,416 He knows a lot about you. Quiz him. 1131 01:13:40,626 --> 01:13:42,560 He knows your locker combo. 1132 01:13:42,728 --> 01:13:44,821 He knows your favorite antiperspirant. 1133 01:13:45,331 --> 01:13:47,060 He knows your blood type. 1134 01:13:47,233 --> 01:13:51,795 Okay, I hate to remind you this, Beth, but you said it was sweet. 1135 01:13:53,005 --> 01:13:56,873 You did. Oh, my God, and you came to my house. 1136 01:13:57,043 --> 01:14:00,308 If you didn't think it was sweet, why would you come to my house? 1137 01:14:00,479 --> 01:14:02,071 What do you think, super genius? 1138 01:14:02,248 --> 01:14:03,715 We thought it would be funny. 1139 01:14:08,187 --> 01:14:10,018 Oh. Okay. 1140 01:14:14,560 --> 01:14:18,155 -Are you just gonna keep bleeding? -Yeah, for about 3 days. 1141 01:14:18,597 --> 01:14:20,792 Just put your head back. 1142 01:14:21,901 --> 01:14:24,802 -Now it's dripping down my throat. -Here. 1143 01:14:24,970 --> 01:14:27,837 Stick these up there. They're super absorbent. 1144 01:14:50,663 --> 01:14:54,759 Listen, about what Cammy said before. 1145 01:14:55,201 --> 01:14:57,533 She thought it would be funny. 1146 01:14:59,305 --> 01:15:03,833 I mean, we all thought it would be a fun thing to do. 1147 01:15:06,445 --> 01:15:09,107 Guess I did think it would be a little funny. 1148 01:15:11,183 --> 01:15:12,548 I'm sorry. 1149 01:15:14,653 --> 01:15:17,213 Guys tell me they love me all the time. 1150 01:15:17,623 --> 01:15:20,751 And it's usually because they want something. 1151 01:15:23,262 --> 01:15:26,823 Well, it was kind of funny, right? 1152 01:15:28,734 --> 01:15:29,894 Ha, ha, ha. 1153 01:15:30,102 --> 01:15:31,797 [BOTH LAUGHING] 1154 01:15:31,971 --> 01:15:35,134 -Please, take those out now. -Your wish. 1155 01:15:35,708 --> 01:15:37,505 [GRUNTING] 1156 01:15:37,676 --> 01:15:39,871 [BOTH GROAN] 1157 01:15:43,082 --> 01:15:44,913 BETH: Can I say something personal? 1158 01:15:45,251 --> 01:15:46,582 Sure. 1159 01:15:47,553 --> 01:15:49,521 You smell like a dead homeless guy. 1160 01:15:50,055 --> 01:15:51,215 [LAUGHS] 1161 01:15:51,390 --> 01:15:55,190 Yeah, it's probably my shirt. There's hummus. 1162 01:15:55,461 --> 01:15:56,928 Take it off. 1163 01:15:57,129 --> 01:15:59,529 Oh, no, I can leave it on, it's fine. 1164 01:15:59,965 --> 01:16:02,866 I'm not gonna molest you. Take it off. 1165 01:16:05,671 --> 01:16:07,969 Take it off, take it off. 1166 01:16:16,315 --> 01:16:18,715 Let me just air it out a little. 1167 01:16:19,485 --> 01:16:21,180 Oh, shit! 1168 01:16:23,589 --> 01:16:24,920 [TREECE GASPS] 1169 01:16:27,126 --> 01:16:28,320 BETH: Sorry. 1170 01:16:39,839 --> 01:16:43,275 Okay, it was somewhere around here. You can stop. 1171 01:16:48,914 --> 01:16:50,905 [CAMMY AND RICH LAUGHING] 1172 01:16:52,785 --> 01:16:55,151 Oh, my God. What? 1173 01:16:57,156 --> 01:16:58,987 Really? Dude. 1174 01:17:00,659 --> 01:17:02,593 I think those are his lucky underpants. 1175 01:17:06,465 --> 01:17:08,160 Give me my poncho. 1176 01:17:09,435 --> 01:17:11,460 -Give me my poncho. RICH: Oh, my God. 1177 01:17:12,238 --> 01:17:15,139 -What are you doing? -You're so mean. 1178 01:17:15,307 --> 01:17:16,604 RICH: What? 1179 01:17:16,775 --> 01:17:18,709 DENIS: Actually, I got these as a gag gift... 1180 01:17:18,878 --> 01:17:21,108 so it's appropriate that you're laughing. 1181 01:17:21,280 --> 01:17:25,114 No, it's good, I'm happy that you're-- You guys got the joke! Good one. 1182 01:17:25,284 --> 01:17:27,684 -Get in here. -No, purple's not really my color. 1183 01:17:27,853 --> 01:17:31,220 It's fuchsia and it's my favorite color. Sorry. 1184 01:17:31,390 --> 01:17:32,982 -That's fine. -Okay. 1185 01:17:33,158 --> 01:17:34,853 -There we go. -All better. 1186 01:17:35,027 --> 01:17:37,825 -How do I look? Good? -Great. 1187 01:17:41,734 --> 01:17:44,897 -Ha, ha, ha. -That pink poncho's sort of cute. 1188 01:17:45,738 --> 01:17:46,864 What? 1189 01:17:48,073 --> 01:17:49,540 Goddamn Kevin. 1190 01:17:49,708 --> 01:17:53,508 Because of you I am in the middle of nowhere looking for a shirt. 1191 01:17:53,679 --> 01:17:56,773 Oh, yeah, no, goddamn that Kevin. 1192 01:17:58,484 --> 01:18:00,509 Why do you even go out with him, anyway? 1193 01:18:01,453 --> 01:18:05,719 In the beginning, he was sweet. He made me laugh. 1194 01:18:06,358 --> 01:18:09,589 -And when he smiled.... -He was really hot. 1195 01:18:12,064 --> 01:18:13,531 I don't know. 1196 01:18:13,699 --> 01:18:18,602 Guess it was the way other girls looked at me when I was with him. 1197 01:18:19,238 --> 01:18:20,865 I felt proud. 1198 01:18:21,373 --> 01:18:27,039 Thought I was the lucky girl this big, strong Army guy chose. 1199 01:18:27,546 --> 01:18:29,343 It didn't bother you that he was an a--? 1200 01:18:29,515 --> 01:18:30,573 An asshole? 1201 01:18:30,749 --> 01:18:32,444 Yeah. 1202 01:18:32,952 --> 01:18:36,183 I just made excuses for him because... 1203 01:18:38,123 --> 01:18:40,387 it was nice to feel wanted. 1204 01:18:40,693 --> 01:18:42,456 See, I don't get that... 1205 01:18:42,628 --> 01:18:46,564 because there are so many guys who would love to be with you. 1206 01:18:46,732 --> 01:18:49,667 Yeah. For a night, maybe. 1207 01:18:53,739 --> 01:18:57,334 -So why did you do it? -The speech? 1208 01:18:58,277 --> 01:18:59,710 I don't know. 1209 01:19:00,579 --> 01:19:01,978 It's just.... 1210 01:19:03,282 --> 01:19:05,580 You're the head cheerleader... 1211 01:19:05,751 --> 01:19:07,582 and I'm the captain of the debate team. 1212 01:19:07,753 --> 01:19:12,315 And I know it's ridiculous to think that you and me would even.... 1213 01:19:15,160 --> 01:19:17,526 I guess I just wanted to talk to you. 1214 01:19:19,798 --> 01:19:22,528 And I never did, and then I realized... 1215 01:19:23,936 --> 01:19:26,461 that was my last chance, you know? 1216 01:19:28,474 --> 01:19:30,339 Well, I'm glad you did. 1217 01:19:34,546 --> 01:19:37,344 Look! Your shirt. 1218 01:19:38,884 --> 01:19:42,081 Oh, uh, um.... 1219 01:19:46,091 --> 01:19:47,456 Oh. 1220 01:19:48,560 --> 01:19:49,891 Aw. 1221 01:19:50,162 --> 01:19:53,256 -Hi! Oh, you're so cute! -Hi, little fella. 1222 01:19:53,599 --> 01:19:56,864 -Hey, no. No, that's not food. BETH: Hi, cutie! 1223 01:19:57,036 --> 01:19:59,266 That's my shirt. Okay, so just, uh.... 1224 01:20:00,105 --> 01:20:02,096 [SNARLING] 1225 01:20:02,274 --> 01:20:04,265 [BOTH SCREAMING] 1226 01:20:08,580 --> 01:20:09,740 DENIS: He looked at me! 1227 01:20:09,915 --> 01:20:13,043 He looked right at me! He's gonna eat me! 1228 01:20:22,361 --> 01:20:24,852 BETH: Whoo! Party! 1229 01:20:26,098 --> 01:20:28,089 [CHATTERING AND LAUGHING] 1230 01:20:38,410 --> 01:20:40,071 Smells like death in here. 1231 01:20:40,245 --> 01:20:44,614 My dad just bought all this stuff. He's never killed anything. 1232 01:20:44,783 --> 01:20:46,910 They are kind of cute, huh? Rawr. 1233 01:20:47,986 --> 01:20:50,147 Dude, you look ridiculous. 1234 01:20:50,322 --> 01:20:52,517 Well, what am I supposed to do? I don't.... 1235 01:20:52,691 --> 01:20:53,715 Treece, darling... 1236 01:20:53,892 --> 01:20:56,053 would you get this lovely lady something to wear? 1237 01:20:56,228 --> 01:20:57,593 Yeah, try the bedroom. 1238 01:20:57,863 --> 01:20:59,694 Okay, who wants a drink? 1239 01:20:59,865 --> 01:21:02,197 -I do, please. -I want one. 1240 01:21:03,035 --> 01:21:04,627 Vodka! Hee, hee. 1241 01:21:13,545 --> 01:21:15,206 Okay, a toast. 1242 01:21:15,647 --> 01:21:18,741 You know what's weird? I didn't give this to him. 1243 01:21:19,618 --> 01:21:24,214 Anyway, to the world's greatest night. 1244 01:21:24,389 --> 01:21:26,220 -Yeah. -Whoo! 1245 01:21:32,731 --> 01:21:34,722 [TREECE and BETH GASPING] 1246 01:21:35,067 --> 01:21:37,831 -Wow. BETH: Look, it's almost morning. 1247 01:21:39,171 --> 01:21:42,402 Does anyone wanna come watch the sunrise with me? 1248 01:21:43,208 --> 01:21:44,505 Yeah. 1249 01:21:46,512 --> 01:21:48,503 [GIGGLING] 1250 01:21:58,190 --> 01:21:59,851 Hey. 1251 01:22:00,959 --> 01:22:03,018 Hey, can I ask you something? 1252 01:22:03,695 --> 01:22:04,923 What? 1253 01:22:05,330 --> 01:22:07,491 It's about your brother. 1254 01:22:09,168 --> 01:22:10,567 What about him? 1255 01:22:11,770 --> 01:22:13,670 What was his name? 1256 01:22:14,840 --> 01:22:16,171 David. 1257 01:22:17,609 --> 01:22:19,076 What was he like? 1258 01:22:20,512 --> 01:22:23,208 He was already sick when I was born. 1259 01:22:23,615 --> 01:22:26,675 Died when I was 2. He was 12. 1260 01:22:27,953 --> 01:22:30,114 I don't remember him at all. 1261 01:22:30,589 --> 01:22:34,719 There's this picture of me visiting him at the hospital... 1262 01:22:34,893 --> 01:22:38,158 and it's like he's just some sick kid. 1263 01:22:38,330 --> 01:22:43,097 It's the big, dramatic tragedy of my life, and I wasn't even there. 1264 01:22:43,735 --> 01:22:46,829 DENIS: Yeah, but you were there. 1265 01:22:47,372 --> 01:22:50,068 I mean, maybe you don't remember... 1266 01:22:50,776 --> 01:22:52,607 but I'll bet it meant a lot to him. 1267 01:22:53,445 --> 01:22:56,414 BETH: Thank you. That was very sweet. 1268 01:23:06,325 --> 01:23:08,657 "Say hello to my little friend!" 1269 01:23:08,827 --> 01:23:10,488 -Ha, ha, ha. -Wow. 1270 01:23:10,662 --> 01:23:11,924 What? 1271 01:23:12,097 --> 01:23:15,555 Scarface. Pacino, '82, De Palma. 1272 01:23:17,603 --> 01:23:18,900 Look. 1273 01:23:23,642 --> 01:23:26,941 " Fill your hands, you son of a bitch!" 1274 01:23:28,313 --> 01:23:29,473 [GRUNTING] 1275 01:23:29,648 --> 01:23:31,309 [LAUGHING] 1276 01:23:31,483 --> 01:23:32,541 What? 1277 01:23:34,386 --> 01:23:38,322 It's John Wayne. It's John Wayne, 1969, True Grit. 1278 01:23:39,191 --> 01:23:41,659 Oh, my God! I peed, I peed, I peed! 1279 01:23:41,827 --> 01:23:43,818 [LAUGHING] 1280 01:23:44,062 --> 01:23:46,690 No, it's not-- It's not that funny. 1281 01:23:46,865 --> 01:23:49,595 No, it is, because you.... 1282 01:23:52,738 --> 01:23:54,535 Why, because you think I'm gay? 1283 01:23:57,342 --> 01:23:58,741 You think incorrectly. 1284 01:23:58,911 --> 01:24:01,709 The lady doth protest too much, methinks. 1285 01:24:01,880 --> 01:24:02,904 What? 1286 01:24:03,448 --> 01:24:05,211 Like you know Shakespeare. 1287 01:24:05,851 --> 01:24:09,116 Queen Gertrude to Hamlet, Act III, Scene 2... 1288 01:24:09,288 --> 01:24:13,520 1602, William Shakespeare, or possibly Edward de Vere. 1289 01:24:14,259 --> 01:24:15,590 Wow. 1290 01:24:15,794 --> 01:24:17,227 That's.... Wow. 1291 01:24:17,396 --> 01:24:19,023 Yeah. 1292 01:24:21,199 --> 01:24:23,292 BETH: Wow, look at the sun. 1293 01:24:23,468 --> 01:24:25,299 It's so big and pretty. 1294 01:24:25,470 --> 01:24:28,030 Well, that's an optical illusion. 1295 01:24:28,206 --> 01:24:30,868 There are certain things that appear larger... 1296 01:24:31,043 --> 01:24:33,603 in context to the objects around them. 1297 01:24:35,614 --> 01:24:38,014 You know everything, Denis Cooverman. 1298 01:24:38,483 --> 01:24:42,715 No, no, not everything. There are some things I don't know. 1299 01:24:43,322 --> 01:24:45,017 Multiple things. 1300 01:24:45,557 --> 01:24:48,993 Well, I'll tell you one thing you know nothing about. 1301 01:24:49,161 --> 01:24:51,994 When a girl says the sunrise is big or pretty... 1302 01:24:52,164 --> 01:24:53,597 you know what you say? 1303 01:24:54,700 --> 01:24:57,100 Not what I said, presumably? 1304 01:24:57,269 --> 01:24:58,531 You don't say anything. 1305 01:24:58,704 --> 01:25:00,831 You just put your arm around her. 1306 01:25:04,977 --> 01:25:07,309 You know, just something for future reference. 1307 01:25:09,581 --> 01:25:13,039 For future reference, I'll remember that. 1308 01:25:18,790 --> 01:25:22,351 If you're not gay, why so unchubby in the shower? 1309 01:25:22,527 --> 01:25:25,985 Heh, heh, I-- I was just being cool. 1310 01:25:26,164 --> 01:25:29,258 It was uncool of you to notice. 1311 01:25:29,901 --> 01:25:32,529 No 18-year-old boy is that cool. 1312 01:25:32,704 --> 01:25:35,537 I am that cool. 1313 01:25:36,608 --> 01:25:39,133 Nobody cares if you're gay. 1314 01:25:41,013 --> 01:25:42,310 I'm not. 1315 01:25:42,481 --> 01:25:47,009 Nobody cares, so just be gay already! 1316 01:25:49,054 --> 01:25:53,457 You, Richard Munsch, have never been with a woman. 1317 01:25:54,026 --> 01:25:55,687 Never been with one. 1318 01:25:55,861 --> 01:25:57,260 Wha...? 1319 01:25:59,164 --> 01:26:00,495 Um.... 1320 01:26:00,665 --> 01:26:02,656 [BOTH GIGGLING] 1321 01:26:11,076 --> 01:26:12,407 Watch.... 1322 01:26:12,577 --> 01:26:13,908 TREECE: And learn. 1323 01:26:18,717 --> 01:26:21,948 That's nice, it's nice. Yeah. 1324 01:26:22,120 --> 01:26:24,179 -You cool? -Uh.... 1325 01:26:24,356 --> 01:26:27,416 Long as everyone else is cool. 1326 01:26:29,461 --> 01:26:32,828 Hey, there is my chest hair. 1327 01:26:34,166 --> 01:26:36,532 Yeah, I'm liking that. I am, uh.... 1328 01:26:36,935 --> 01:26:38,800 [MOANING] 1329 01:26:38,970 --> 01:26:41,404 Yeah, definitely reacted to that. 1330 01:26:42,574 --> 01:26:43,905 Uh.... 1331 01:26:44,810 --> 01:26:48,109 Hey, this is, wow, great, you know, really top-notch... 1332 01:26:48,280 --> 01:26:52,239 but I left my latex sheaths back at the house, so.... 1333 01:26:52,417 --> 01:26:53,441 That's okay. 1334 01:26:53,618 --> 01:26:55,051 Treece's got some, don't you, Treece? 1335 01:26:55,220 --> 01:26:56,687 I've got gobs. 1336 01:26:56,855 --> 01:26:58,152 Gobs? 1337 01:27:10,535 --> 01:27:14,062 Well, that was expedient. 1338 01:27:14,406 --> 01:27:16,897 But at least we know you're not gay. 1339 01:27:17,075 --> 01:27:20,272 -Yeah, tell that to my dad. -What's his number? 1340 01:27:27,319 --> 01:27:29,116 BETH: So do you still love me? 1341 01:27:29,955 --> 01:27:31,047 DENIS: Yeah. 1342 01:27:31,223 --> 01:27:34,090 Am I everything you've ever masturbated to? 1343 01:27:34,759 --> 01:27:36,818 No, it's not like that with you. 1344 01:27:36,995 --> 01:27:40,829 I mean, you're different than I imagined. 1345 01:27:41,433 --> 01:27:44,334 You're real. 1346 01:27:45,504 --> 01:27:46,698 And scary. 1347 01:27:47,072 --> 01:27:48,096 [LAUGHING] 1348 01:27:48,273 --> 01:27:50,969 And exciting and fun. 1349 01:27:51,209 --> 01:27:53,905 But I thought you said this wasn't fun. 1350 01:27:57,048 --> 01:28:00,074 All my memories from high school are from tonight. 1351 01:28:05,423 --> 01:28:07,220 You gotta get out more often. 1352 01:28:08,026 --> 01:28:10,187 -Yeah. -Yeah. 1353 01:28:11,696 --> 01:28:13,391 Where are you going to college? 1354 01:28:13,565 --> 01:28:14,964 NYU. 1355 01:28:15,967 --> 01:28:18,663 -What are you majoring in? -Acting. 1356 01:28:18,837 --> 01:28:21,328 -Shut up. Shut up! -Mm-hm. Yeah. 1357 01:28:21,506 --> 01:28:22,700 -Me too. -Really? 1358 01:28:22,874 --> 01:28:24,774 -Yeah, and directing. -Wow. 1359 01:28:24,943 --> 01:28:27,844 If you wanna be an actress, why weren't you in Drama Club? 1360 01:28:28,747 --> 01:28:31,841 -Social survival. -That's a good call. 1361 01:28:32,017 --> 01:28:33,678 Mm-hm. 1362 01:28:33,852 --> 01:28:36,685 So who is your favorite director? 1363 01:28:36,855 --> 01:28:39,085 Hello, it was a threesome. 1364 01:28:40,792 --> 01:28:42,487 Wow. 1365 01:28:43,795 --> 01:28:46,389 I know high school wasn't great for you. 1366 01:28:47,465 --> 01:28:49,228 No, it was... 1367 01:28:50,302 --> 01:28:51,633 completely awful. 1368 01:28:54,539 --> 01:28:58,236 You see, the thing is, high school was great for me. 1369 01:28:59,644 --> 01:29:02,340 I had a great, great ride. 1370 01:29:05,183 --> 01:29:06,844 And now it's over. 1371 01:29:09,788 --> 01:29:13,417 You, you're gonna go off and become a doctor... 1372 01:29:13,592 --> 01:29:17,255 and cure cancer or whatever new diseases there are. 1373 01:29:18,263 --> 01:29:19,628 But this? 1374 01:29:21,566 --> 01:29:23,693 This is about it for me. 1375 01:29:26,137 --> 01:29:30,073 Everything in my life from here on out is just gonna be... 1376 01:29:34,246 --> 01:29:35,736 ordinary. 1377 01:29:38,416 --> 01:29:39,713 Wow. 1378 01:29:39,884 --> 01:29:43,115 That's such... 1379 01:29:43,722 --> 01:29:45,314 bullshit. 1380 01:29:45,890 --> 01:29:47,221 Heh. 1381 01:29:47,492 --> 01:29:49,517 Because the Beth Cooper I know? 1382 01:29:49,694 --> 01:29:52,527 The one that I now know... 1383 01:29:52,697 --> 01:29:58,192 is the most alive person I've ever met. 1384 01:30:00,672 --> 01:30:02,503 The Beth Cooper I know... 1385 01:30:02,674 --> 01:30:04,403 she's not gonna have an ordinary life. 1386 01:30:04,576 --> 01:30:06,874 She's gonna have an amazing life. 1387 01:30:07,045 --> 01:30:08,945 Slightly insane... 1388 01:30:09,114 --> 01:30:12,015 but never uninteresting... 1389 01:30:13,218 --> 01:30:15,686 always ass-kicking... 1390 01:30:16,955 --> 01:30:18,217 life. 1391 01:30:19,224 --> 01:30:21,715 How do you know that? 1392 01:30:23,094 --> 01:30:25,654 Because I'm a very smart guy. 1393 01:30:41,179 --> 01:30:42,942 MRS. COOVERMAN: All right, thank you very much. 1394 01:30:43,114 --> 01:30:44,138 MR. COOVERMAN: Any luck? 1395 01:30:44,316 --> 01:30:46,750 MRS. COOVERMAN: No, they can't send anyone out till next week. 1396 01:30:46,918 --> 01:30:48,215 MR. COOVERMAN: Explain this to me: 1397 01:30:48,386 --> 01:30:50,013 How do you put a microwave into the wall? 1398 01:30:50,188 --> 01:30:51,746 MRS. COOVERMAN: God only knows. 1399 01:30:51,923 --> 01:30:54,858 Oh, hi. I need to get my kitchen repaired. 1400 01:30:58,296 --> 01:31:00,821 MR. COOVERMAN: Haven't I seen that car before? 1401 01:31:02,100 --> 01:31:03,465 MRS. COOVERMAN: Oh! 1402 01:31:03,635 --> 01:31:06,502 Denis! What happened to you? 1403 01:31:06,671 --> 01:31:08,866 I'm okay. I'm okay. 1404 01:31:14,012 --> 01:31:17,709 I can't talk about this. I'm gonna go make pancakes. 1405 01:31:19,417 --> 01:31:21,885 Or did she already make you breakfast? 1406 01:31:22,921 --> 01:31:24,252 [WHIMPERS] 1407 01:31:25,523 --> 01:31:26,854 Wow. 1408 01:31:29,527 --> 01:31:32,257 -I talked to your dad, Rich. -Yeah? 1409 01:31:32,430 --> 01:31:35,024 You might wanna hang out here for the rest of the day. 1410 01:31:35,200 --> 01:31:37,430 -Okay. MR. COOVERMAN: And tomorrow. 1411 01:31:37,602 --> 01:31:41,265 -Okay. -You know, just until it's safe. 1412 01:31:41,539 --> 01:31:43,370 Got it. Thanks. 1413 01:31:47,145 --> 01:31:50,444 -I hope you had fun. -I did. 1414 01:31:51,983 --> 01:31:55,043 You know we have to punish you, somehow? 1415 01:31:55,220 --> 01:31:58,485 Yeah. Figured that. 1416 01:31:58,656 --> 01:32:01,181 What do they do these days? Do they still ground you? 1417 01:32:01,359 --> 01:32:03,919 -I don't even know. -I don't know either. 1418 01:32:04,095 --> 01:32:05,528 But... 1419 01:32:06,264 --> 01:32:10,030 whatever it is, it was worth it. 1420 01:32:12,404 --> 01:32:14,133 Let's not tell your mother that. 1421 01:32:14,305 --> 01:32:15,567 Yeah. 1422 01:32:17,108 --> 01:32:20,271 -We can discuss it inside. -Okay. 1423 01:32:31,022 --> 01:32:32,319 So.... 1424 01:32:34,492 --> 01:32:37,120 Good luck with Stanford and everything. 1425 01:32:37,996 --> 01:32:42,933 Yeah. You know, you too, with everything. 1426 01:32:45,804 --> 01:32:47,772 We should do this again sometime. 1427 01:32:49,374 --> 01:32:50,636 Sure. 1428 01:32:52,877 --> 01:32:54,606 Yeah, sure. 1429 01:33:09,794 --> 01:33:11,887 You're getting better at that. 1430 01:33:12,063 --> 01:33:13,587 I was bad before? 1431 01:33:13,765 --> 01:33:15,756 [LAUGHING] 1432 01:33:21,072 --> 01:33:22,437 Thank you... 1433 01:33:25,243 --> 01:33:26,835 for loving me. 1434 01:33:32,317 --> 01:33:34,182 What's not to love? 1435 01:33:44,696 --> 01:33:46,288 You remember that. 1436 01:33:52,537 --> 01:33:53,765 Hey, Beth. 1437 01:33:55,607 --> 01:33:58,633 -See you at the reunion. -Yes. 1438 01:33:59,177 --> 01:34:02,738 If we're both still single, I'll marry you. 1439 01:34:04,616 --> 01:34:06,208 That's a promise. 1440 01:34:21,132 --> 01:34:22,565 RICH: My lady. 1441 01:34:28,006 --> 01:34:29,496 DENIS: Drive safe. 1442 01:34:36,581 --> 01:34:39,072 -So guess what? -Hm? 1443 01:34:39,884 --> 01:34:41,408 I think I'm gay. 1444 01:34:41,920 --> 01:34:43,251 Yeah? 1445 01:34:43,421 --> 01:34:45,889 Oh, that's great, congratulations! 1446 01:34:46,090 --> 01:34:49,548 Dude. I'm not gay for you. 1447 01:34:49,861 --> 01:34:51,658 Yeah, no, I know. 1448 01:34:52,497 --> 01:34:55,057 -You know, I could be bi. DENIS: Bi? 1449 01:34:55,233 --> 01:34:58,031 RICH: I was with 2 gorgeous ladies last night. 1450 01:34:58,202 --> 01:35:00,295 That's a lot more heterosexual than you. 1451 01:35:00,471 --> 01:35:02,302 DENIS: Well, hey, I did kiss Beth Cooper. 1452 01:35:02,473 --> 01:35:04,532 RICH: Now you gotta take it to the next level. 1453 01:35:04,709 --> 01:35:07,269 DENIS: I will. I'm not really gonna wait for the reunion. 1454 01:35:07,445 --> 01:35:09,970 I'll leave a message on Facebook, ask her out. 1455 01:35:10,148 --> 01:35:11,945 RICH: No, it has to be a grand gesture. 1456 01:35:12,116 --> 01:35:14,016 DENIS: Like what? RICH: You know where she lives. 1457 01:35:14,185 --> 01:35:16,881 Go to her house, bring a boom box, wait for her. 1458 01:35:17,055 --> 01:35:18,454 DENIS: That's stalking, Rich. 1459 01:35:18,623 --> 01:35:21,319 RICH: No, it's not stalking if you love the person. 1460 01:35:21,492 --> 01:35:25,553 Grab her and take her someplace where it can be just the 2 of you. 1461 01:35:25,730 --> 01:35:26,992 DENIS: Now, that's kidnapping. 1462 01:35:27,165 --> 01:35:28,564 RICH: It's romantic. 1463 01:35:30,101 --> 01:35:33,867 Okay, first we're gonna need some rope and duct tape.